Christ's Eternal Now

I came across the following while doing some research for my message on Sunday. Though I'm not using it for this message, it was too profound and stirring to me to let it sit in a file on my computer. So, I share it with you. Think about it, pray about it, and let God apply it to you heart.

From “Speaking My Mind” by Tony Campolo:

I do not want to leave this discussion of what goes on with Christ suffering and cleansing us from our sin in His eternal now without pointing out that all of this should provide a great impetus for living the holy life. Every time I sin, at that very instant Jesus groans at Calvary. Even as I sin today, He experiences the agony of ingesting my sin into Himself in His eternal now, as He hangs spread eagle on the tree back there and then. This is why it says in Hebrews 6: 6 that when we sin, we crucify Him right now.

While spending a few days as the religious-emphasis-week speaker on the campus of a Christian college, I talked with a senior who was quite cavalier about the sins in his life. He told me about having an affair with a married woman. Then he said, “Whenever I commit sin, I remember that Jesus took the punishment for that sin back there on the cross.” In response, I said, “The next time you’re in bed having sex with your lover, I hope you can hear the screams of Jesus from the cross; because at that very moment Jesus is reaching across time and absorbing into His own body the very sin that you are committing there and then. The Jesus who hates sin becomes the sinner that you are. The innocent Jesus becomes the adulterer you are, because in His eternal now, He becomes everything about you that He hates.”

Morality

I've been reading a book by Donald Miller that he wrote in 2004, "Searching For God Know What." It's a really good book and has stirred my thinking on a number of things. I'm getting close to the end (and I'll be moving on to his newest book that just came out, "A Million Miles In a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life"). I just finishing up the chapter on Morality and there were a couple of things he wrote that I thought I'd share with you for your reflection:

"Morality..., if you think about it, is the way we imitate God. It is the way we imitate the ways of heaven here on earth. Jesus says, after all, to know Him we must follow Him, we must cling to Him and imitate Him, and many places in Scripture the idea is presented that if we know Him, we will obey Him."

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"The hijaking of the concept of morality began, of course, when we reduced Scripture to formula and a love story to theology, and finally morality to rules. It is a very different thing to break a rule than it is to cheat on a lover. A person's mind can do all sorts of things his heart would never let him do. If we think of God's grace as a technicality, a theological precept, we can disobey without the slightest feeling of guilt, but if we think of God's grace as a relational invitation, an outreach of love, we are pretty much jerks for belittling the gesture.

"In this way, it isn't only the moralist looking for a feeling of superiority who commits crimes against God, it is also those of us who react by doing what we want, claiming God's grace. Neither view of morality connects behavior to a relational exchange with Jesus. When I run a stop sign, for example, I am breaking a law against a system of rules, but if I cheat on my wife, I have broken a law against a person. The first is impersonal; the latter is intensely personal."

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"There are a great many other motives for morality, but in my mind they are less than noble. Morality for love's sake, for the sake of God and the sake of others, seems more beautiful to me than morality for morality's sake, morality to build a better nation here on earth, morality to protect our schools, morality as an identity for one of the parties in the culture war, one of the identities in the lifeboat (lifeboat: thinking that some/we are better than others for various reasons, thinking that some/we are worth saving because of met standards verses those who do not)."

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Quotes from David Adam

I'm reading a book by one of my favorite authors - David Adam, Walking the Edges: Living in the Presence of God. In this book, building on stories about several Celtic saints, he looks at what it means to live in the presence of God. Here are a couple of quotes from the first several pages:

"Faith does not come without effort on our part, faith asks us to move out of our limiting security."

"If you want to understand the doctrine we have to be willing to live the life: if we want to understand the way of heroes we have to be willing to live heroically, there is no half answer. If you do not enter fully into the life of faith, you will not be aware of what the written word is about. Secure theories can be learned by anyone; true faith involves us fully and leads us to frontiers. God is never on the edges of mystery and the unknown."

"So often when we look back on what seemed to be against what we had planned we discover that it was a point of growth and learning. God does not work only within the confines of the Church or of our own ideas: it is often when we are forced to do other than we planned that the great Other works through us."

Within each piece of creation,
within each person,
the hidden God waits
to surprise us with His glory.

Within each moment of time,
within each day and hour,
the hidden God approaches us
calling our name to make us His own.

Within each human heart,
within our innermost being,
the hidden God touches us,
to awaken us and to reveal His love.

Everything, everyone is within God,
all space, all time and every person.
The hidden God asks us to open
our eyes and our hearts to His presence.

I can't recommend his books enough! They're great devotional reads and I find them especially inspiring during the "hard" seasons for me - Winter, that's when I often reread them. He has written several books on the Celtic saints, as well as on prayer and meditation.

Nothing to Say

Someone asked me the other day why I haven't written anything on my blog. I said I've had nothing of importance to say. In truth, I haven't been willing to put into words what has been rambling in my head, in part because I haven't been able to grab the tale of my thoughts and get them formed into something that would make sense nor have I not wanted to put myself in the uncomfortable spot of writing something that would be controversial or contradictory to what others opinions may be on various topics and have to deal with the negative reaction (been there, done that). So I've kept it to myself.

But maybe there is also the thinking in the back of my head that what I have to say really is important to no one else but me and, when you have that thought in your head, you just aren't really motivated to share what's on your mind to the general public out of fear that they will see it as self-aggrandizement.

So, there you go. And here I am. But it could all change tomorrow and I might get inspired or finally have enough concerning something that is going on and the words will come and I will again fill a page with my thoughts.

Until then, I invite you to join me in reading a very thought provoking book by Donald Miller, "Searching For God Knows What." It has been a wonderful read and makes me wish I could write like him. I will soon be done with that book and amlooking forward to moving on to his newest book, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life," which I have already purchased.

I also just picked up a copy of one of my favorite devotional writers, David Adam, "Tides and Seasons." He has written a number of books on modern prayers in the Celtic tradition and on a number of Celtic saints. His books never cease to stir me towards a deeper level of prayer and commitment. I go back to his books over and over, pulling out paragraphs and chapters and prayers and poems. He is well worth reading.

Well, it's late, my body is tired, my eyes are heavy, but, as usual, my mind is racing with thoughts and ideas. If there were a way to "tap" into my mind and have it all recorded so I could sort through it all during the day, I would have such amazing sermons, blog entries, and even a book or two. But more than likely, it would be just static hiss.

One Small Step in the Fog

It was 40 years ago today that man landed on the moon and took a little walk. We all watched as Neil Armstrong took that little jump and landed on the moon surface. We heard him speak those now famous words, "It's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." All of us were able to finally let out the breath we were holding and then smile and cheer.

I was 11 then. This was a BIG DEAL. It was a big deal because 1969 was a really strange time in America. I don't remember much about it, not because I was doing drugs but because I was still a kid. But I heard about a lot of stuff that was happening. The Vietnam War, protests on college campuses, massive music festivals where youth were "getting high and getting naked" (the getting high part didn't interest me but the getting naked....well, I was entering puberty then).

In many ways 1969 marked and transformed a generation. At least, so we have been told.

But this, this moment, took science fiction and turned it slightly on its ear because now what was only dreamed about had become fact: man was on the moon and it wasn't made of cheese! It was a major feat for the USA, a positive in the midst of a lot of negatives. I suppose it was the shot of hope that America was yearning for. I mean, if we can make it to the moon, walk on the surface and them make it home again (a major feat in itself), well then, we can overcome anything and even change the world.

But we Americans are a rather fickle lot, aren't we? Actually, we humans are a very fickle lot. We grow bored to things pretty quickly. We made it to the moon, now give us another "grander" event. It didn't take long before people didn't pay much attention to rockets going into space (it took a near death crises with Apollo 13 for people to tune back in, briefly). The country didn't get any better; the Vietnam War came to an end, eventually, with a non-victorious crash, but other wars just came up to take its place. The 60's movement of love, peace and music just progressed into sexual disease, selfishness and disco.

And the footprints left on the moon surface got covered over with moon dust.

NASA says thay want to go back to the moon but there are some of those astronauts that have been to the moon and into space who are saying, "We've already been to the moon. Forget the moon. Let's go to Mars." I think it would be pretty cool to go to mars and bring back a bag of rocks from there. I guess the expense would be worth it. I'm not sure what the status of the moon rocks are but I'm sure they served an important purpose in helping humankind progress and better itself.

I've been watching online some of the footage of the moon landing and moon walk. It brings back some memories of being 11, but those memories are foggy. Nothing "major" stands out about then except that a few months after the moon landing I was moving from Georgia to Rochester, NY. That's really all I really remember clearly about that year. Everything else, just a fog. But I know that 1969 and that event of July 20th forever changed me. I just don't have a clue how!

He Keeps Me Moving

It has been a long couple of weeks, filled with emotion and sadness, anticipation and excitement. Over the last few weeks we have been going through the emotional and mental transition of leaving a wonderful congregation that we had grown to love and accepting the inevitable change and appointment to a new church (in the Methodist church, the pastor is appointed to a church by the Bishop), and preparing for the move.

Boxes, boxes everywhere. As each day passed, more and more of our house got stuffed into a box and furniture that had finally molded to our personality and body shapes found new homes to dwell (the parsonage is furnished). By our last week here, we couldn't eat at home because everything in the kitchen had been packed.

It's hard leaving a congregation that you have grown to love and that you know loved you. Good Samaritan was made up of wonderful people - young, middle and senior adults. The grew to not only accept changes but to embrace them, to be open to different ways of worship, music, outreach. They even encouraged it and participated in it. It was wonderful and freeing. So, when we knew that we were to have to move, it broke my heart. I hoped that I could make the change but I was pretty frustrated about it all.

There are a lot of doubts that take up residence in your head when you find out about where you are being moved to. Question keep popping into your head: Will they like me? Will I like them? Will we have anything in common? Will they accept my style of ministry? What is their desire for the church? How close does their understanding of the purpose of the church line up with mine (or vice-a-versa)? And so on. It really can be unsettling.

Today Heather and I went to Zion to attend the Senior Adult luncheon - "Friends and Neighbors." There were about 50 or so people. We had good conversations with many of the folks, who were warm and welcoming. There was some good laughs with a number of them, even some friendly jabs and joking.

Then we went to the office and spent a couple of hours to set up and there were several folks hanging around there. Same thing took place - good conversations, joking around, sharing. It was good and positive.

When we were done Heather and I headed to the local Wal-Mart and on the way there I said to her, "I feel good about this and I am excited about coming here." She smiled and nodded.

I don't understand how God works sometimes or why He allows things to unfold as they do. But He never ceases to amaze me, when I am able to move beyond my own limited and narrow vision. I may not be able to see the final outcome, and I may never fully understand everything that is involved in the whole process, but ultimately I come realize (again and again) that "all things work out for good to those who are called to His purpose," which means my responsibility is to look for and head toward living out His purpose - which is to glorify Him in all the areas of my life. I don't have that down yet but He keeps giving me opportunities to work on it and be more consistent - He must have faith in me because He obviously hasn't given up on me, and He's lead me to Zion so that we (the church and I) can grow in our glorifying God together.

And in case you may be wondering, He hasn't given up on you either!

Checking In

OK, I know that I have failed in my commitment with keeping up with my blog. The last month plus has been a whirlwind of uncertainty and unexpected change. It always amazes me how quickly life can change on you and there is really no way you can prepare for it or slow it down. But we remain walking upright, if a little stunned and exhausted. But it all has made it hard to focus on putting things in a constructive and coherent way - not that I've ever really been able to do that!

Beginning tomorrow I will be the pastor of Zion United Methodist Church, located in Lancaster, SC. It will be a very different type of ministry, I'm sure, and I admit that I am nervous and anxious about it but, and this is a big but, I am excited about the possibilities and challenges that God has in store for us all.

The last few weeks we have slowly packed up our house, watched as others have come and taken some of our furniture to a new home, and moved into our bedroom - since it's the only room that still has furniture in it. It's been strange.

Anyway, I hope to be back up and running in a week or two, filled with inspiring things to write. Well, I can dream, can't I?

Hymns, Songs and Spiritual Songs

Basically, I'm a product of the 70's. I went through Jr. High, High School, and College all through the '70's. I loved most of the music then, certainly the music of the '60's, and, as a young adult, the music of the '80's. I've been through the '90's and well into the new millennium and there is a lot of music - folk, rock, and alternative - that I like. There has and is some I can't stand but generally, I like most of it.

Contemporary Christian Music (CCM), as it is called, started to come into it's own in the late '60's but I really didn't discover it until I was in Jr. High. I don't recall who I first heard that caught my attention - "ah, songs about Jesus that have a beat" - but I realized that CCM consisted of a little more "depth" than the (non-Christian artists) Doobie Brothers' "Jesus Is Just Alright With Me" or Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky," to name just two. And yet, even if they lacked "theological depth" they had great catchy music and singable lyrics.

My first exposure to CCM was at Jr. High summer church camp, when the "speaker" consisted of a folk rock trio. They were REALLY good, funny, and sang - and not just "Christian" music - all in the context of a message and, to my surprise, worship. It was a new experience to me and I LOVED IT, as did the rest of the camp. What a let down it was to come home and find yourself back to singing from the hymnal, with piano and organ, songs that, if they caused any swaying, was from boredom, not from rhythm.

So, I embraced CCM and bought what I could get my hands on. For thought provoking and challenging lyrics, it was Larry Norman and Randy Stonehill. For sweet, uplifting songs, it was Honeytree. Maranatha was on the rise as the worship music leaders. Love Song, Phil Keaggy and Paul Clark had depth both in their musicianship and lyrics. Resurrection Band gave a rockier edge to their music, as did DeGarmo and Key. This was who and what I listened to then. Now, well, the list is way too long. But then, often, I would almost prefer the secular music over the CCM because the music seemed fuller, harder, more expressive, experimental. I remember a friend who bought a new CCM album by some artist that was being praised as the best new CCM artist out there and, upon listening, took off the LP and threw it out the window. "Yeah, their right, he does make the best CCM Frisbee out there!" Any question about what he felt?

All this to lead me here: after all these years, there is still this ongoing discussion about hymns (the traditional, from the hymnal, kind) and contemporary worship music. There are still those who are adamant about using ONLY hymns/gospel music in church and those who don't want anything resembling a hymn sung in their service. Then there are people like me who say, "I want both."

And here is why. Typically, most hymns have far more depth and theology than most contemporary worship music. When you sing a Charles Wesley hymn, you get a treatise on salvation and grace; when you sing a cont. worship song, you get praise and adoration but not much theology. Both have their place, both must have a place in worship. My issue is more about musical STYLE when it comes to "traditional" verses "contemporary." I love the piano and organ but after a while it can feel like your at a funeral.

Worship should be expressive, should have a feeling of life in it, should involve our senses. I mean, c'mon, we're worshiping our holy, magnificent God who has given us life and salvation. That should keep us on our feet and clapping for at least a minute or two! "Contemporary" music (aside from the lyrics) at least offers a little more energy than "traditional" music does over the long haul. Usually. I agree with Larry Norman, who sang in his song, "Why Should the Devil Have All the Good Music":

I ain't knocking the hymns,

Just give me a song that has a beat.

I ain't knocking the hymns,

Just give me a song that moves my feet.

I don't like none of those funeral marches

I ain't dead yet!

Now, if my mother were to respond to this (and probably my Dad), she would disagree with me (and I know I will hear from her about this), and she would be right. This is my opinion as it comes out of my experience. Hers is very different from mine. She loves the hymns, she loves the choir, she loves the gospel songs, she loves the sound of piano and organ working their way through a hymn, culminating in a crescendo on the last verse. And so do I.

But there sits in every congregation people with varying backgrounds and musical tastes. Do we not have an responsibility in our churches to do all that we can to offer different "aspects" and "styles" in the worship experience that people can at least find something to connect with? It may be contemporary, it may be gospel (southern and otherwise), it may be traditional, it may be country (is there such a thing as country worship music?), it may be jazz, etc.

(Just a side note: the new Baptist Hymnal (it's also called the Worship Hymnal) is one of the best I have seen of late. It is a great combination of traditional, gospel, and contemporary, with many opportunities to segue from one style into another. United Methodist Hymnal Committee, take notice!)

Of course, music is just one component of the worship experience but it is a huge part that can, no, does have a huge impact on the spirit/feeling/experience of worship. If the music is bad, boring, slow, then the service will often be perceived as the same.

But we must not just settle on worship "lite" - songs that have very little theological depth. Simple does not have to mean "shallow." But "depth" doesn't have to mean boring. What message do we send about our faith in Christ when that is how our worship experience comes across? Again, to quote Larry Norman:

I want the people to know that he saved my soul

But I still like to listen to the radio.

They say rock 'n' roll is wrong,

we'll give you one more chance.

I say I feel so good I gotta get up and dance.

I know what's right, I know what's wrong,

I don't confuse it.

All I'm really trying to say

Is why should the devil have all the good music?

I feel good every day

'Cause Jesus is the rock and he rolled my blues away.

To close, I invite you to read the following article: "Your Guide to Contemporary Music."

I have no doubt you will find it very insightful and inspiring!

So, let us take our hymnals and turn to page....

Streams of Thought

I was sitting outside on the front porch earlier this evening, listening to the rain, watching it splash on the cement, and I started having a stream of thoughts: about wisdom - human and Godly; about love - between a husband and wife, between friend and friend, between strangers, my love for God and his love for me; about my responsibility to others - those I know, those I don't; about hope and faith - the things that make i weak and those that make it stronger. It was a fluid stream of thought, nothing I could hang on to but something streaming through my head. Mixed in the thoughts were pieces of Scripture that related to those streaming thoughts, like leaves floating on top of the water.

Later, much later, in the evening, I stumbled upon a website for Andrew Zuckerman Photography and there was a video posted on his site, by him, entitled, "Wisdom." As I watched it, I found myself having those thoughts again but this time more as a walker along the stream, observing and seeing it all from a different perspective. So I share this video with you. What stirred the waters for me was what I know God says about wisdom - our need for wisdom that comes from Him; our need for true love - the kind that comes from knowing Christ, which has a way of transforming us; how we are called to care for others - by expressing Christ-like love to all those who are around us; how doubt has a strange way about it - serving as "the ants in the pants of faith (Fredrick Buechner)."

Here is the video. After watching, take a "walk" by whatever stream it causes to flow by you - but also be sure that you watch for the stirrings in the water by the hand of God.

Nothing New Under the Musical Sun?

I was sitting in my office at home today, watching my wife work on her resume and online applications for a job, and me laying out the basics for next Sunday's sermon. In the background music was playing, sort of a melodic white noise which would cause either one or both of us to begin to sing along, softly, as we worked. It hit me, though, while I was listening to the music, that I haven't heard anything lately that has really grabbed me. I've been listening to some good stuff but nothing that made me sit up and truly listen and go "wow". Most music of late has just served as "white noise" and that bothers me. It bothers me because I can't remember hearing anything in a while that has grabbed me and made me giddy with delight or moved me, not just my feet but my head and heart. Is it because artists have finally written everything new that there was to be written and now their left with simply trying to recycle it with just enough slant to make it seem new?

I was listening to some of the music on the radio that my daughter listens to while we were on a trip to the beach the other day. After three songs in a row I honestly couldn't tell you when one song ended and the other began. And lyrically, there was no depth, no meaning that I could tell, no emotion. Just synthetic, computerized vocals and rhythm. (I have heard similar words once upon a time - when I was a teen and my parents listened to my music but really, it's really different now, right?) After a few songs I couldn't take it anymore and I had to change. Of course, what I listen to is just "old man" music. Really?!!!!? You just can't reason with a teenager these days!

I remember, when I was in my teens and into my 30's, hearing songs from an album (LP) on the radio and running to the store and purchasing it, going straight home, putting it on the player and then reading every word on the linear notes (the lyrics, who played what, all that stuff) while the music played. Then, when I was done, I would play the album over again and just listen to the music and the lyrics. There were times when it seemed like a mystical experience. Listening to Yes' "Close to the Edge" or "Tales From Topographic Oceans" or Jackson Browne's "The Pretender" or Larry Norman's "In Another Land" or.....there have been a few others. Or remember those rare occasions when you stumbled on an unknown artist and you went "wow!" and you couldn't wait to share their work with others - they were unique, their music was different, their lyrics was full of pathos or empathy or energy or hope or... But it just seems that those special moments have become fewer and farer between. Of all the CD's and downloads that I have, and I have a few, there are only a small number that still impact me like they did when I first heard them. All the others are nice, and I enjoy, but just don't haven't maintained that energy like they first did.

I miss those musical mystical moments. Maybe it's because I'm getting older (could my daughter be right?). I'm willing to admit that. But I do think there's more to it than that. I try to be open in my musical tastes; I do make an effort to check out a CD/download when a friend or reviewer recommends it. But I am still often left yearning for more. It's nice, I enjoyed it, but where's the power, the impact?

I wonder if the fact that we now simply download songs, and not entire album's/CD's, and therefore don't have the "package" that often helps draw the listener into the process of the music. You download what you want and often skip what doesn't grab you, which removes the opportunity for those songs to "grow" on you or help set up the other songs. You know what I mean?

Well, anyway, I was just thinking and wondering. Not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone else. It may be just all in my head - which is where good music has its greatest impact but moves the heart.

Speaking of head and heart, I think I'll put on John Mark McMillan's "The Song Inside the Sounds of Breaking Down" and Number One Gun's "The North Pole Project" or 16 Horsepower's "Live March 2001" or just about anything by U2 (I know, I need to move on from this U2 kick I have been on for a while). There is something in these albums that is powerful and riveting, unique and different, deep and stirring.

What music have you found that has created those mystical moments for you? I'd really like to know.

Wake Up Dead Man

The last several months have been tough months for my household. Both physical and emotional, we have had our share of shocks and hits. It has been a time of questioning, pleading, and wondering, especially between me and God. I know that there have been others around me who also have been going through tough times but, as we all must admit, "nobody knows the trouble I've seen" when it's me having the troubles. You may have lost your arm but, man, that thorn in my foot is killing me!

Winter months tend to be a hard time for me anyway and, I have at times, wondered if I don't create my own difficulties as a result - sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you know what I mean. But this winter, I don't think this is the case. Circumstances have truly been beyond our control and, quite honestly, I have wondered what part God has had to play in it all. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that the roller coaster ride may not be over.

Some weeks ago I came across a Psalm that I could really put myself into, that I connected with on an emotional and spiritual level. The Psalms are funny that way. They are filled with joy, passion, forgiveness, hope, promise, proclamation, and worship. But they are also filled with pathos, anguish, loneliness, hurt, bewilderment, questioning. We Christians are pretty comfortable reading and praying from "those" Psalms but there are a few Psalms that we tend to skip over, ones we don't feel comfortable "praying" and reading out loud. Those Psalms express anger, disappointment, even challenging and questioning God. We aren't comfortable with those because what right do we have to approach God in that fashion?

The truth is, we have those feelings; the truth is, we have those thoughts; the truth is, we may even "express" those things silently in our heads (as if God can't read our minds!) but we don't have the guts to be honest enough with ourselves, to others, and especially to God to look Him in the eye and express them to Him.

David did, and on several occasions. Psalm 44 is a case in point. And as I read it, my heart melded to those words because many of them were words and phrases that I was feeling.

David begins by acknowledging God as His God. He points to the "stories" that God's people have heard, even experienced in their lives, and how they remember them. David points to how all that they (Israel) had accomplished was the direct result of God's intervention and power. Without Him they would have been unsuccessful at everything they had attempted:

You're my King, O God—
command victories for Jacob!
With your help we'll wipe out our enemies,
in your name we'll stomp them to dust.
I don't trust in weapons;
my sword won't save me—
But it's you, you who saved us from the enemy;
you made those who hate us lose face.
All day we parade God's praise—
we thank you by name over and over.

Psalm 44:4-8 (Message)

But then David unleashes his frustration. He points to God and says, "But You left me hanging. You walked away and left us alone to face it all. You led us to the slaughter, sold us for a cheap price, made us look like fools for relying on You." Tough words.

I'm not at all comfortable saying such things to God, though I must admit I have felt them, along with guilt for feeling them. But I have had them: "Where are You, God, in all this crap that is being thrown our way? Why have You allowed the turmoil of the world to work it's way into the life of my family, into my life?" I have, almost, pointed an accusatory finger at God and let loose my disbelief and disillusion that I was feeling with God.

David doesn't stop there. He goes even further:

All this came down on us,
and we've done nothing to deserve it.
We never betrayed your Covenant: our hearts
were never false, our feet never left your path.
Do we deserve torture in a den of jackals?
or lockup in a black hole?

If we had forgotten to pray to our God
or made fools of ourselves with store-bought gods,
Wouldn't God have figured this out?
We can't hide things from him.
No, you decided to make us martyrs,
lambs assigned for sacrifice each day.
Psalm 44:17-22 (Message)

When we find ourselves in the midst of these storms, how many of us are quick to look at our lives to see if we have been "deliberately walking" out of step with God? We do this "checklist" thing of the do's and don'ts of the faith (or is it the list of our particular church?) to see what we've been missing, in hopes that, if we can figure it out, make the appropriate adjustments and seek forgiveness, God will step in and cease the storm(s). Or at least ease them. I have found, though, that even then, often the storms don't disappear. I still have to ride it out, work it out, and pray through it, but my prayers are often filled with the questions and pleas of one being battered by the winds.

However, there have been times, and of late would be an example, where I believe we (Heather and I) have been walking by faith, trusting in God, striving to do His will, even feeling a deep sense of His peace and blessing, when all of a sudden, bang, crash, swoosh, we have found ourselves almost capsized. Out of nowhere it came. Where did God go? Why did He remove Himself, His blessing, from us? What in the world is He trying to accomplish in all of this? "Have you fallen asleep, God?"

Get up, God! Are you going to sleep all day?
Wake up! Don't you care what happens to us?
Why do you bury your face in the pillow?
Why pretend things are just fine with us?
And here we are—flat on our faces in the dirt,
held down with a boot on our necks.
Get up and come to our rescue.
If you love us so much, Help us!
Psalm 44:23-26 (Message)

Pointed words! Words born out of frustration and confusion. Words thrown toward God Almighty. How brash! How daring! What guts! What honesty and openess!

U2 wrote a song that I think really captures this struggle between faith and doubt, trust and anger, hope and confusion. The song is called Wake Up Dead Man. As I listento this song, coupled with Psalm 44, I understand exactly what Bono/U2 is wrestling with.

Jesus, Jesus help me
I'm alone in this world
And a f*&%@#-up world it is too.

Tell me, tell me the story
The one about eternity
And the way it's all gonna be.

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man.

Jesus, I'm waiting here, boss
I know You're looking out for us
But maybe Your hands aren't free.

Your Father, He made the world in seven
He's in charge of heaven.
Will You put a word in for me?

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man.

Listen to the words, they'll tell you what to do
Listen over the rhythm that's confusing you
Listen to the reed in the saxophone
Listen over the hum of the radio
Listen over the sound of blades in rotation
Listen through the traffic and circulation
Listen as hope and peace try to rhyme
Listen over marching bands playing out their time.

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man.

Jesus, were You just around the corner?
Did You think to try and warn her?
Were You working on something new?
If there's an order in all of this disorder
Is it like a tape recorder?
Can we rewind it just once more?

Wake up, wake up dead man
Wake up, wake up dead man.
Wake up, wake up dead man.

LIke Psalm 44, U2 looks at the world and their lives and wonders where God is in the devastation, turmoil, and violence that they see unfolding around them. They lift their voices in anguish because, despite their faith in God, a faith in the God who created the world ("Your Father, He made the world in seven, He's in charge of heaven), they wonder why God seemingly isn't doing anything ("Will You put a word in for me?). The chorus, "Wake up, wake up dead man," is another version of what David wrote: "Get up, God! Are you going to sleep all day? Wake up! Don't you care what happens to us?"

And yet, and yet, in the midst of it all - the turmoil, the sense of confusion, the crises, the rug being put out from under - Bono points to God's mysterious presence in the midst of it all, in the midst of life: "Listen to the words, they'll tell you what to do; Listen over the rhythm that's confusing you; Listen to the reed in the saxophone; Listen over the hum of the radio; Listen over the sound of blades in rotation; Listen through the traffic and circulation; Listen as hope and peace try to rhyme; Listen over marching bands playing out their time." In the midst of doubt there is still faith. It's almost as if doubt is part of the foundation of a growing faith; as if uncerainty pushes hope higher. I don't always see it that way - at first - but, over time, and as I look back, I see it, sometimes clearly, sometimes ever so faintly, but it's there, a glow in the distance.

David began his Psalm the way he often closed his Psalms that expressed his doubt and confusion, by looking at and grasping hold of what God had done in the past; it's like a tether that keeps him from loosing his bearings:

We've been hearing about this, God, all our lives.
Our fathers told us the stories
their fathers told them,
How single-handedly you weeded out the godless
from the fields and planted us,
How you sent those people packing
but gave us a fresh start.
We didn't fight for this land;
we didn't work for it—it was a gift!
You gave it, smiling as you gave it,
delighting as you gave it.
Psam 44:1-3 (Message)

"Tell me, tell me the story, the one about eternity and the way it's all gonna be." So sings Bono at the beginnig of "Wake Up, Dead Man." He's holding on to what God has done in the past and in the belief that God is going to accomplish His will in the future, whether it be in the immediate future or when Christ returns (and I think it's both). David, in many of his Psalms, does the same.

And I try to do the same. It can be hard though. When you can't see land and the storm is all around you, it can be difficult to keep paddling your boat, even harder to get out of the boat and walk on the water.

Which reminds me of the story (Matthew 8) of the disciples crossing the sea with Jesus, who had laid down and fallen asleep. A storm came up and got pretty intense so the disciples started to panic and woke up Jesus. "Are you gonna let us die?" they cried out at Him. And I can just see Jesus, shaking His head and saying, in a calm voice, "What is it with you guys? Why do you have such ineffective faith?" Then He spoke to the storm and it went away.

I know I often have little faith, ineffective faith. I think I doubt more often first than I believe first. I hear Him speak to me and challenging me to greater faith. And of late, we have done a lot of stepping out in faith and have been left baffled by what has unfolded before us. But I hold onto the promises of my Savior and Lord. I remind myself of His help in the past. And I trust Him with my tomorrow and beyond.

I believe. Help my unbelief!

Still Looking for I Don't Know What

Last Wednesday (of Holy Week) we held a special service, focused on our youth but open to all of our church people. It was a U2charist - a communion service using the music of U2. I have wanted to do one for several years but it has only been recently that I felt that I could do it at my church that I am presently pastoring. I was pleased with the turnout - about 40 teens and adults. They seemed to enjoy it, though there were one or two adults who asked me to turn the music down but they survived. One dear lady that I made a point of thanking because I knew that, at age 82, this was certainly not her cup of tea. I thanked her for supporting the service and the young folks by coming. She said, "Well, I didn't like the service at all but I came to be a support." She said that to me several times to make her point!

We didn't do any external promotion of the service because it was my first attempt of such a service and I wanted to see how it "felt" doing it. It felt good. And, to my surprise, I was blessed in putting it together and participating in it.

I have enjoyed the music of U2 for years now, well, since they first burst on the scene with their album Boy. However, they really took hold of my interest when they came out with The Joshua Tree. That album just stunned me. A few albums later and I found myself stunned again when they came out with How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. There were songs on these albums that had a depth of truth in them that drew me in, caused me to think, and even inspired me to worship God.

In preparation for the service, I read several books on U2 and their music. The books were well worth reading and I highly recommend them. The first was Walk On, by Steve Stockman. Stockman looks at the history of U2, how that history impacted their music and faith, how their faith (three of the four guys are Christian) influenced and inspired their message and art. Stockman also takes a very deep and critical look at the church, and especially the evangelical church, and it's relationship with the arts, with culture, and with its involvement/mission/service in the world. I found myself, sadly, agreeing with him on a number of occasions. But his look at the group certainly deepened my appreciation of U2, artistically, lyrically, and spiritually.

The second book I read was One Step Closer: Why U2 Matters to Those Seeking God, by Christian Scharen. This book is a little harder for me to explain except to say that it analyzes the theology and biblical influences in the music/words of U2. He looks at their lyrics in the context of the Psalms, Prophecy, Wisdom, even Eschotology (the future Kingdom of God). He then looks at how they draw in the message of the cross and redemption, faith, hope, and love into their word pictures. I found the book to be very profound and insightful as well.

I have found myself, for sometime now, listening mostly to U2 music as an active part of my worship. Certainly, in many ways, their music and lyrics are deeper, more thought provoking, and expansive than many contemporary Christian artists that are out there today. There are exceptions, of course, but only a few (one of my favorites is John Mark McMillan).

Anyway, back to the service. My "anchor" song was the Rattle and Hum version of "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For." This live version includes the addition of a Gospel Choir and a slightly different emphasis on some specific lyrics. I played the song after my devotion, which has the same title as this particular blog posting. In my devotion I talked about the disciples and what they must have been feeling and struggling with during that last week of Christ's life. To go from the high of the Triumphal Entry on Palm Sunday to the gathering in the Upper Room, listening to Jesus' discourse on him leaving and dying, about someone betraying him, about sending "another" that would comfort them and teach them, then going to the cross and dying, this had to send them reeling with confusion, doubt, and fear. They believed he was the Messiah, God's Son, but all this wasn't what they bargained for, it wasn't what they were looking for. They were looking for something else and what they were looking for seemed to be crashing around their feet.

I then tied their confusion and doubt, and their "looking," to what we go through in our lives: the loss of a job, declining health, the death of a loved one, difficulties in a relationship, etc., and how we, when we're really honest, even with our faith in Christ, aren't always sure we've found what we're looking for. And yet, it is in our continued "looking" that we tend to see more of Christ, and in our struggle with doubts we find ourselves grasping even more tightly to that hope that Christ has called us to.

Then I introduced "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" and played it. Give it a listen:


Following the song we then moved into communion. It was interesting to watch the youth come and take communion, many of whom probably hadn't ever participated in communion before. There was a sense of "wonder" and a look of "perplexity" on their faces as they came and partook of the elements.

Here was the order of the service:

Prelude

- Drowning Man

- Love Rescue Me

- Miracle Drug

Welcome

Songs of Praise

- All Because of You

- Magnificent

Opening Prayer

- One Step Closer

Invitation

Prayer of Confession

- Windows in the Sky

Message - Still Looking for I Don't Know What

- I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

The Service of Communion

(During the Serving of Communion)

- 40 / Where the Streets Have No Names

Closing Remarks and Sending Forth

- Yahweh

Postlude

- When Love Comes to Town

I look forward to doing another U2charist. In the meantime, I'll be listening to my iPod with my hands in the air!

To gain more insight into what is going on in the head and heart of U2 and Bono, check out the following video interviews with Bill Hybels of Willow Creek Church. There are eight videos in all. Well worth watching/listening to:

Adding Something for Lent

This Wednesday is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of the Lenten season. To the average non-Christian, this season really doesn't hold much meaning, aside from Madi Gras and Fat Tuesday. To those who are Christians or "churchians" (my word for those who aren't really committed to a church but attend on an infrequent basis and/or had attended some when they were kids), the season of Lent is understood to hold some type of spiritual preparational significance for Good Friday and then comes to a climax with Easter.

Most Christians will attend an Ash Wednesday service this Wednesday, saying some type of liturgy and prayer with the people that have gathered (usually small), and then will walk to the front of the church to have their priest or pastor make the sign of the cross on their forehead with ashes as a reminder that they belong to Christ through their act of confession and repentance to Him.

But I have noticed that Lent has taken on more of a "New Years resolution" feel to it among many people who observe the season. It is seen, if not primarily, at least additionally, as a time to give up something "for the Lord," to try to start over on what you had resolved at the beginning of the new year that you were going to change, usually by giving up something. I hear people talk about giving up chocolate for Lent, sodas, TV, smoking, certain sweets, even sex. But what I never hear is what someone is going to try to "add" to their life during this season. That realization has intrigued me over the last few days.

I haven't been much different. Every Lenten season I determine to give up stuff, like limiting my TV watching, giving up Mountain Dew, cutting back on my sugar intake, dieting more consistently. But this Lenten season, I'm approaching it from a different direction. This year, I'm adding to my life, I'm taking on some things in the hope that it will deepen my life and make it richer on a spiritual and emotional level.

Let me give you some examples of a few additions I want to make. Every Ash Wednesday we stand at the front of the church and the pastor makes the sign of the cross on our foreheads with ash. But other than that, most of us in the protastent tradition never do much with making the sign of the cross. The Catholics do it, a lot, but we Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, Evangelicals, etc, don't do it. And yet, the making of the sign of the cross has deep roots in being a symbol, that when I make the sign of the cross on my body, I am reminding myself that I have been crucified with Christ and that I now live in Him. So, for this Lent, I am going to add the sign of the cross to my actions through out the day. I realize this will probably raise some eyebrows among some folks, including my church people, but I'll simply explain it if asked. There was a period of time in my life when I did do this but for some reason I got out of the habit.

Another addition is to learn and incorporate into my devotional time the practice of Lectio Divina, the practice of the "slow, contemplative praying of the Scriptures which enables the Bible, the Word of God, to become a means of union with God" (a good book that I am reading about this is by Eugene H. Peterson, Eat This Book: A Conversation in the Art of Spiritual Reading). I tend to sit down and read a passage of Scripture with the idea of, "OK God, what can I get out of this today?" The problem is, I'm not the most patient guy when it comes to this and if, after some reading, praying, and thinking, I don't "get something," I'm ready to move on. Lectio Divina involves more imagination, more of an "ears open, mouth shut" approach. It demands that I take more time to read and reread, to let the passage "flood over me"; for me, it's like slowly working your way into a cold lake - my body has to get used to the chill before I'm able to swim around in the water. That's what I want when it comes to reading God's "living Word," to be able to swim around in it, to become part of the passage because it has become a part of me.

A third addition is something I already do but I am very inconsistant in it and that is journal writting. I do it every few weeks, sometimes even a month or two will go by before I sit down and journal, and when I do, it usually has more to do with some "crises" or emotional meltdown than reflecting on my spiritual pilgrimage, discovery, and growth. Again, to do this means making time to sit, reflect, read, meditate, and then write.

There a few other things that I probably will try to add to my spiritual life but there are also more "emotional" and "social" things I need to add. Like, making a more concerted effort to connect with people that I meet day to day in my life; to express more of God's love to others by saying kind and uplifting words to them; to be outgoing in my sharing Christ with others; to be more patient with others, especially my family... I think you catch my drift.

What will our lives become if we were to add to our lives things along the lines of the above? I challenged one friend, who "believes in God" but thinks that their are many ways to God to take the next few weeks to really sit down and read God's "Word"; to determine for himself whether Jesus was just a "good man," "a mad man," or "the Son of God." What if we were truly willing to do more than just be content with where we are in life, content with our current level of "spirituality," content with the ways we show respect, encouragement, and love to others. How dramtically would our lives, and the lives of those around us, be transformed and blessed? Wouldn't be way cool to find out?

Faceless on Facebook

I recently joined up Facebook. A friend invited me to join and I figured that if he joined then I should join. I had no interest up to that point. In fact, I will admit to you that I deliberately resisted joining Facebook because I just felt a little uneasy about it. I also resisted joining MySpace until my kids told me to sign up and I held for sometime. But I finally broke down. I haven't been back to MySpace in months. I got bored with it.

My problem with Facebook and MySpace, and other services like them, is that they seem so impersonal to me. In most cases you are able to see the person whose "site" you have been accepted to but not always. Sometimes you see things that you would rather not see - scary, frightful visions of these people you thought you knew. You read things that surprises you - words, phrases and statements that make you wonder just who this person really is and why are they posting such things.

Sometimes I have been a little stunned, no, shocked, at seeing more than I really want to, or should, see. I can't help wonder if they have any clue what kind of impression they are leaving. And then I realize, they don't care.

The problem with these "connection" sites is that you really don't know if you are "seeing" the real person. It's very different, very shallow, compared to being able to talk on the phone or sit across from each other and have a conversation. I mean, a real conversation with eye contact, voice inflections, body language. "Conversing" over the Internet is like talking to someone about a picture you are looking at and having them draw it simply from your description while not being able to look at the same picture. You usually get some pretty crazy pictures.

Case in point: my daughter Haley was having a conversation with her mom via texting. Mom was out of town and daughter was having some "pain" issues. Mom was texting something about being sorry about not being here to comfort her and daughter texted back and wrote, "I know but your not mom." Now, there ensued a slight misunderstanding about what daughter had wrote, since punctuation has gone out the window with texting, and Mom felt like daughter was saying that she wasn't a mom because she wasn't there to care for her daughter.

Got that?

Now, maybe I'm just being "old fashioned" and unwilling to accept the changes coming our way in the 21st century. Possibly, though I think I keep up pretty well. My problem is that texting and connecting via the Internet has taken the place of warm blooded, personal, exposing myself just a little with you, conversation. It's harder to determine what's real in a relationship through the computer or simply words on a small phone screen. (By the way, if I have anything to say beyond two or three words when I text, I call.)

I had someone invite me to be their friend the other day. I didn't know who they were. I wrote to them and said so. They wrote back and said we had a connection with a mutual friend. When I checked their "friends," they had over 3000 friends. I decided that the invitation to be their friend was more in hopes of me joining the ever growing statistics of friends they were accumulating and not out of a sincere desire to "reconnect" with an old friend. So I declined.

On the other hand, since joining Facebook, I have in fact reconnected with some old high school and college friends that I had lost contact with over the years due to time, distance, and moves. It's been rather exciting to "chat" and slowly catch up, even more exciting to actually call each other and talk, hearing their voice, laughing together, sharing joys and disappointments. All that was missing was a fireplace and a beverage.

All I am saying is that I really wonder just how interested people are about what I might be doing just at this moment (Jim is....fill in the bland for the moment). Though I know I am interested in knowing what my friends and family are up to in life, what they like to read, what jobs the have, where they are and how their families have grown, I'm wondering if we aren't bordering of narcissism when we chart our every moment on the web for people to see. Are we really connecting? We have a generation or two that have become so engulfed in this technology that their interpersonal skill have developed at a snails pace. They crave intimacy but don't know how to develop healthy relationships. As one character states in the movie He's Just Not That Into You, "I had this guy leave me a voicemail at home so I called him at work, he emailed me to my Blackberry, so I texted to his cell, and now you have to just go around checking all these portals just to get rejected by 7 different technologies. It's exhausting."

I do find all these new ways of "connecting" exhausting at times. And often so impersonal. But I do it anyway. Go figure.

"Jim is.... finished writing this post."