Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet

Back when my son Jonathan was a youth, somewhere around 10 years ago, give or take a year or two, I went with him and his youth group as a chaperon to a youth camp. I can't remember where it was held but it was a great camp. We would do missions in the morning and then fun and games in the afternoon. In the evening we would have worship. The worship was full throttle contemporary but with out the full scale band, just a guitar and maybe percussion. But we were on our feet and we were singing and clapping. The messages were built around the theme of what Dorothy and the characters in The Wizard of Oz and The Wiz discovered about themselves. They were great messages, with video clips and lots of energy.

One night they played a song that we were to close our eyes and just listen to. I don't remember how long it went but it went on for a little while. It was a homeless old man's voice that started out, singing the following words:

Jesus blood never failed me yet, never failed me yet,
Jesus blood never failed me yet.
This one thing I know, for he loves me so.

It just repeats and repeats, with stings slowly joining in. It was haunting and stirring. No one made a sound as it played.

For years I have wanted to find that song. I didn't know where to look because I didn't know who wrote it or what the title was but I never forgot the feelings it stirred within - sadness, hope, joy.

This morning I received a devotional by John Fischer (Catch of the Day - well worth getting) and low and behold what did he write about? This song! There before me was the name of the author (Gavin Bryars) and the name of the piece (Jesus' Blood Never Failed Me Yet). What I didn't know is that it actually runs for about 75 minutes, with the homeless man simply singing those words over and over again, and with music playing underneath, around, through, over... It is beautiful. It is stirring. It is haunting. It is meditative. It reassures me. It builds my confidence. I am now on my third listening since I've downloaded it this afternoon.

Below you can listen to track four of the piece, entitled Tramp with Orchestra IV (Full Stings). It runs for just over 6 minutes so sit back, relax, read your bible for a few minutes and then close your eyes and just listen. Let me start you off with Romans 8:31-39 (Message):

So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God's chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We're sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Or just listen and make it your prayer. Let the words become your "mantra" and lift them up as praise to a God who never fails!

First Day Jitters

Today is officially moving day for pastors that have been appointed to new churches. For many, that means packing up one house and moving to another, as well as an office. For me, however, it was simply an office. Thankfully!

Actually, I moved in yesterday afternoon, missing the leaving pastor by an hour or two, passing by each other like two ships in the night. I arrived around 2:00 and spent the first 2 hours with the secretary, going over everything I need to know. She would often stop and ask, "Is this too much?" To which I would smile, reply, "No, I'm with you," and wish I had been writing this all down. But she made me feel "at home" and realize that I better get more organized because she sure was!

I began bringing a number of boxes into the office and various wall hangings and shelf decorations, choosing to wait for my wife to arrive a little later to help set things up. I figured why waste all my energy in setting it up when she will come in, change it and have it looking a whole lot better.

(Side note about setting up my office: Heather and I have deep discussions when it comes to setting up my office. I arrange my books by subject areas - history, commentaries, family, devotional, etc. She, however, arranges by size, laying a stack of books on their side, a stack kiddie-cornered, all books working their way down from the tallest to the shortest, like you do with a group picture. Looks real nice but makes finding books more of a challenge though. But hey, I like challenges - hide and seek is one of my favorite childhood games.)

I met with our pianist and discussed music for Sunday and for the future. We practiced a few praise and worship songs together, with me on guitar. What a thrill. Heather showed up by then and sang with me. I'm a little nervous singing on our first Sunday there but I want to set a affirming tone, an "everyone can find something to connect with" statement about worship style.

Following that we met with a couple that work with the audio/visuals of the service. Wonderful people (as was the pianist) and we spent time brainstorming about the future. We figured out how we will do the power point and then just talked about the church, hopes and dreams, and our roles in it all.

It was all a positive day but still it there was a strangeness to it. When I left to go to the office yesterday I had this overwhelming anxious feeling, one of those experiences where you are flooded with questions, questions I quickly turned to God with:

Lord, are you sure this is where you want me to be? Am I equipped to do the work you want me to do there? Will they like me? Do they have a clue what they are getting into, having me as their pastor? And could you please open my eyes to see you, my ears to hear your voice, and my mind so that I can get a whole lot wiser than I actually am at the moment?

I was reminded of several "sayings" that I have heard over the years, sayings that I have actually used with other people: "Where the finger of God points, his hand will make a way." Then this one began rolling around my head: "Where God guides, he provides." And one by Hudson Taylor certainly reminded me where to stay focused: "God's work done God's way will never lack God's support." Funny how I didn't get some scripture verse that would shake me back to the truth but it was these sayings, all of them true, and all of them could be supported by scripture.

I have no clue what lies before me in this new ministry. I do know that it will be different than any other church I have pastored because they are all different. But I know that the job before me is one ordained by God, that he is in it, that it is his kingdom. So, I think it will be best if I do much consultation with the Divine Architect of this kingdom I am honored to be called to be part of.

Dave Barry: A journey into my colon - and yours

My wife's Grandparents sent me an email that had an article written by Dave Barry. It was a hilariously wonderful read. I decided to simply email to a lot of my friends and family because I wasn't sure of the copyright ramifications of reproducing here in my blog. Then a long time friend, Mary, sent me the link for "the rest of the story." Though I'm still not going to reproduce the article here, I am going to include the link after Dave Barry's opening paragraph - so go and check it out and read the entire article as it was meant to be read. If you are part of the circle that I emailed it to, go and read it again, it's better the second time - especially when it's the complete thing!

Oh, by the way - in the midst of your laughter, don't miss his point!

Dave Barry: A journey into my colon - and yours.

OK. You turned 50. You know you're supposed to get a colonoscopy. But you haven't. Here are your reasons:

1. You've been busy.

2. You don't have a history of cancer in your family.

3. You haven't noticed any problems.

4. You don't want a doctor to stick a tube 17,000 feet up your butt.

Let's examine these reasons one at a time...

For the rest of the story, click here... Dave Barry

Ducking for Cover

I started to reread a book the other day that I had started to read several years ago but only made it about a quarter of the way into it. Probably while reading this book I started to read another and just never continued with this one (I do that a lot, it seems). The book is entitled "Mid-Course Correction" by Gorden McDonald. As the sub-title puts it, the book is about "re-ordering your private world for the next part of your journey." For some reason, now that I am 50, this book seems pretty relevant to me.

In the introduction McDonald is talking about "vital optimism", what he calls hope: "the confident expectation that history is going somewhere and that God , our Creator and Redeemer, is powerfully directing it." He writes about how vital optimism is usually pretty much a given in childhood through young adulthood. But somewhere into our late 30's life begins to get pretty banged up and the struggle to hold on to any kind of vital optimism becomes pretty intense.

He quotes a friend that expresses this intense transition in a way that I totally can concur with. His friend said,

"I started life thinking I'd hit a home run every time I came to bat. Now I just want to get through the game without getting beaned on the head by the ball."

I love that line! And it's so true, so true.

The Sharing of Hearts and Minds

It's been a few weeks since my last blog entry. I'm still working on centering my thoughts in a way that will allow me to be a little more consistent in my entries. I do have a couple of things that are unfolding and hopefully will get written in the next week or so, including about the Second Gathering of Elders that took place last week.

However, I want to reflect on something that happened last night (Tuesday).

I am currently attending the South Carolina United Methodist Annual Conference in Florence, SC. It is a time when the business of the conference is taken care of - beginning Sunday evening and running through Wednesday afternoon. The worship services have been great and I have enjoyed the Bible study times. The meeting sessions tend to be long and, at times, drawn out but this year hasn't been as bad as it seemed last year.

One of the frustrating things about conference, for me, is that I really don't know very many ministers and the few I do know already have their circle of friends and peers that they hang with. So I tend to feel a little out of place. Certainly I did last year but not so much this year. I've gotten to know a few more folks/ministers and have had the privilege of having dinner with a few of them. It was a good time of sharing and connecting and I hope these new relationships will continue to grow.

During conference I have been sitting in one of the sky box seats that is located next to the prayer room. Since I can't vote because I am not a member of conference (ordained in the UMC) it really doesn't matter where I sit, just as long as I can hear what's going on. Anyway, I've been sitting in the sky box seats because they are SOOO much more comfortable on my tender and sore backside (story forth coming in a future blog). As a result I met a pastor, Jeff, and we started to talk during the breaks. It was a good time of give and take and getting to know each other. We exchanged names and numbers, with the hopes that we'll contact each other after conference.

Last night around 9:30, I received a call from Jeff and he invited me down to his room, along with two other pastors, for a time of sharing and prayer. I got dressed and headed down. There were four of us in all. We talked a while, laughed, answered questions about life and ministry, and then went into a time of prayer that consisted of laughter, discussions and sharing. I guess we went for over an hour. The praying was open and honest, confessional and repentant, uplifting and full of praise. Needs were shared and prayed for, struggles laid out and discussed. And God's presence was felt.

Now, I really didn't know these guys, and yet, that didn't prevent us from connecting together in the Spirit of God. It was what I needed. It was what I long for in my own life - a circle of men to be accountable to and to pray with.

I left last night filled with the memories of a time long past when a dear friend and I as teenagers would slip into the church that we attended (where my Dad was pastor) late in the evening and we would kneel at the altar and pray together for hours, talking and sharing, being silent and looking at the cross, reading scripture. Those times were special times with a dear friend who still remains a dear friend, even though he lives far away and we haven't seen each other in years, though we continue to email each other and, on rare occasions, call.

As I left Jeff's room, I was stirred within me again the strong desire for such relationships in my life.

It's hard, being in a strange land, leaving friends and family behind, and having to start from scratch in building friendships. It isn't as easy as it used to be because peoples schedules are so complicated and busy; circle of friends are already have been established; and, as a pastor, that deep type of intimacy is not easily developed among your congregation because of all the congregational dynamics that are involved. And yet, the need for those of us in ministry and, in fact, for all Christians, to have accountable relationships are important to have but so easily ignored and difficult to cultivate.

One of the issues that prevents us from developing those types of relationships is fear of exposure - we are uncomfortable with being too open with others about the struggles, fears, and doubts we have in our lives. We don't like to talk about our near failures, short comings, and sins with others, let alone be honest with ourselves about them. But having such people in our lives are important because they help keep us more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, His leading, and His convicting.

I walked back to my room after our time together with a refreshed sense of God's Spirit, a renewed conviction to stay intimate with Him, and with a sense of urgency to find such men (for me) and families (for my family) that will help us stay focused on the Author and Perfecter of our faith.