I had a hat once that I really liked and I wore all the time. I bought it when I was a sophomore in high school and wore it into my sophomore year of college. I bought it at the Greece Town Mall, when I was working at the Shed House, which was a pant store, mainly. I was the only guy that worked at the store, which wasn't a bad deal what's so ever! I tried the hat on and the ladies all said it was me. Who was I to argue with four women on that particular day. So I bought it. And wore it.
The hat was made of stiff felt (or something of that nature). It was brown and it fit just right. It had a dark ribbon around the base of the hat. I felt "cool" in it. I wore it when I'd go out on dates, when I went out with my friends, when I went to concerts, when I'd go camping and hiking and canoeing in the mountains. I even wore it to church. It became part of my persona, whatever that was at the time.
When I graduated from high school, two very close friends of mine, Kurt and Bruce, and I went on a month long road trip. And the hat went with me. I remember even wearing it when I went into the ocean in the Keys in Florida. I have know doubt that every girl on the beach thought I was the coolest guy around.
Well, probably not but I was young and naive then.
Here is a picture of Kurt and me sitting in Kurt's van that was to be our living quarters for the trip during July 1976. It was the day before or the day of the big trip. Notice that my hat was right where it belonged.
Well, I lost my hat sometime during my college sophomore year. I don't remember what happened to it but for a year plus, while in college, it was my hat and my long blue coat (which I wore during the late fall to early spring). I never could find a hat just like it, no other hat fit just right.
During the summer leading into my junior year someone bought me a new hat. It was a leather hat - tan in color. It had a larger brim than my other hat. I was given the hat just before I went on a canoe trip on the Raquette River in the Adirondack Mountains. It was a trip that several friends and I had taken on numerous occasions together. This trip was the worst we'd ever had been on!!! It rained just about every day, and on the day that we were to portage the two miles around the falls, one of the guys wrenched his back and basically couldn't do much of anything the rest of the trip. I'm not sure what hurt him more, his back or the continued hard time we gave him when we made his bed, cooked his food, served his food to him, and carried him to and from....everywhere!
As we were taking everything out of the canoes to carry on the long, unbearable two mile hike, I leaned over to grab the canoe and my hat fell off into the river and began to float down toward the rapids/falls. Now, I don't remember if I was able to retrieve it before it took the ride down or if, in fact, it shot the rapids and flew over the falls, but my hat was never the same after that. It was soaked, lost its shape and it never fit right again.
I haven't owned a hat like either of those two again. I've worn a cap on numerous occasions. In fact, I have several caps that I wear. A couple are Looney Tunes and one is a plain tan one with "Germany" on the front that I found lying on a bench in Disney World a couple of years after Heather and I were married. Oh, and then there is a straw hat that I've worn at the beach or when hiking but it fell apart within a couple of months. And a friend gave me his hat during a hike when it was cold and wet and sleeting. He said for me to keep it, so every time I wear it I think of Michael and wonder if his brains might rub off on mine. No such luck, yet.
Not too long ago I stepped into a specialty hat store and looked at the hundreds of hats that they had on display. I tried on a few. None of them felt right. There was one that caught my eye, though, more out of curiosity than interest. It was a fur hat that looked like it was made out of a mink, with face, eyes and tail. The lady said that it was actually made out of a cat. I didn't believe her at first, with her bright blue eyes and a slight smile, but upon further inspection, she may have been telling the truth.
Which is why I've never been much of a cat lover. They act too innocent and nonchalant and then can go spastic on you in no time at all. They act "too cool" for me. Have you ever seen a cat do something stupid, like run into a wall or fall off a counter top and have them look at you like you were at fault or, just as bad, as if they didn't do anything stupid at all? "I meant to do that." Dog's will at least admit to you when they flubbed it. They don't hide but, instead, they come to you and seek reassurance that they're OK. "Master, I'm kind of feeling, well, ah, could you give me a hug?" Cat's, on the other hand, say, "Who you lookin' at?"
I've owned two cats in my lifetime. I was a kid then. The first wandered out from the woods by our house in Pennsylvania one day and just hung around and eventually moved in with us. I don't think we actually invited him to live with us but he just did, and for some strange reason, we were OK with that. We called him Charlie. He seemed like a Charlie. He had blond/orange color fur.
He obviously had a rough life before coming to us because one day we couldn't find him around the house. When we looked out across the yard, we saw him at the edge of the parking lot. I called and called to him but he didn't come. If you are given nine lives, it seems to me that you might not want to be so careless that you use them all up. Charlie must have. My dad went to where he was and found him dead. He had been run over, all nine lives used up.
Charlie was a good cat, though.
The second cat we owned I found stuck in a ravine filled with trash. The poor thing must have been there for awhile because it was so scrawny looking. I brought her home and fed her, bathed her, gave her the name "Smokey" and she, too, moved in to stay. Not only that, she blessed has with a litter of kittens. They had the run of the house. We also owned a dog, Penny, who chased these kittens around the house all the time. It was a game to them all. It was the funniest thing to watch, especially when Penny would hit the wood floor and crash into the wall, feeling all stupid and clumsy and coming to me for reassurance and comfort. The cats, on the other hand, when they crashed into the wall, would go behind the couch (or inside the couch!) and lick their wounded pride where no one could see them.
Which is why I've never been drawn to being an owner of a cat.
By now, if you are still reading this lengthy rambling piece, you may be ready for some kind of moral, some kind of spiritual insight or biblical principle. The thing is, this piece is just about my hats and my cats.
And that's that.
PS: For those who might feel that you just wasted your time reading all of the above and then finding no thoughtful insight, I do not want you to go away uninspired. So...
“Some hats can only be worn if you're willing to be jaunty, to set them at an angle and to walk beneath them with a spring in your stride as if you're only a step away from dancing. They demand a lot of you.” - Neil Gaiman
“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.” - Christopher Hitchens
