What are they looking for?

Today I attended a meeting of pastors in my district. The topic of discussion for the meeting was concerning what young adults are looking for and how the church can reach out to them. At least, that was the general theme.

Some interesting discussions took place. I'm not so sure what the pastors took home with them as far as insight goes but I think that there was plenty of insight there to take home.

For some of the churches represented at the meeting, it would be safe to say that there aren't many young adults that are attending nor are there many living in the area of the church to draw from. This certainly creates a sense of frustration for a pastor as he sees his congregation consisting mostly of older adults who are ready to "step down" from the positions but there's nobody there to "step up" and take over. Plus, it can be a discouraging thing to a church when you feel that there are no young people to draw into the church. They are there, maybe not in great numbers like in the suburbs but there around.

One of the things that came up in our discussions led me to wonder, what are we doing in our churches to attract young adults? What are we doing to keep our youth?

One pastor brought out the point that quality is very important in attracting people in general, especially middle and young adults. If a church doesn't strive to have quality, in their building appearance, in their Sunday school programs, in their children's ministries, and especially in their worship, then those people aren't going to come back.

In response to that, another pastor expressed their concern about the consumer mentality that young adults have (and middle adults). He expressed his frustration about their lack of commitment, their pick and choosing approach to the church. I'm not sure that mentality is limited to only the young adult, however. They're just more honest about it.

I'm soon to be 50. By most standards I would be considered part of the upper middle age group. I don't think of myself in those terms. I don't want to. And I don't want to be "set apart" from those that are younger than me, especially young adults. I try to stay relevant to the culture, to what's in and what's not (though according to my 13 year old, I'm not doing a very good job of it). I believe that helps me to be able to still, even at this ripe old age, to be able to connect with people younger than me.

It seems to me that the church must, MUST, strive to stay relevant in our times, which, by the way, is the 21st century, not the mid to late 20th. That means that we must be relevant in our worship, in our way of teaching the Bible, in our liturgy and preaching. As one of our speakers mentioned today, it even includes using current illustrations that people born after 1970 are going to connect with.

We can't keep doing the same things over again hoping that the results will be different. They won't. That's called being irrelevant.

Intimacy of Biblical Proportions

Most of us can think back to those very early days when we were first falling in love with the person of our dreams. There comes a smile to our hearts and faces as we remember how we went out of our way to get close to that person, to get their attention, to strike up a conversation. From there, when we felt that our personalities clicked, we worked very hard to spend time with each other. We would give up our time, give up doing some of the activities that we enjoyed, limited our hanging with our buds, all just so we would have more time to focus on that person that made our heart skip a beat.

Everything was incredibly wonderful as we would grow closer, more intimate with our feelings, exposing our emotional side in ways we would never think we could do with another. But there we were, even shedding a tear in the intimate embrace of this one that had now captured our heart.

Then that day of great risk and faith comes and we ask that person to become our spouse, to spend the rest of our lives together, sharing in the bliss that we had been sharing since that first day when we met. The "I do's" and the "I will's" are exchanged before God, family and friends, along with pledges of total love, eternal bliss, you only, complete commitment.

Those first months, even into the first year or two, that bliss remains. Each day is new, full of discovery and pleasure, overshadowing those momentary bumps in the marital road. But then, as houses are bought, furnished, cars repaired or replaced, jobs become even more important because they help meet the ever growing financial responsibilities that have and are accumulating. Children come along, demanding attention, requiring more money, infringing on what was once our personal time and space.

Then you notice that those cute little things your spouse does aren't as cute now. The dirty socks on the floor have become a source of complaints, toothpaste squeezed in the wrong way brings a rolling of the eyes, whiskers in the sink brings a curt reprimand. And before you know it, bliss, pleasure, intimacy, and joy, aren't the words you would probably use to describe your marriage.

Oh, you love each other. But that newness, that enraptured sense of discovery and excitement and intimacy has become a silent longing in your heart but not near the reality it once was.

What happens to a marriage or a relationship that takes this turn and continues down this path? Well, at best, they become a couple that love each other but have grown complacent with each other. At worst, they drift apart and begin to be drawn to other things to fill that void, possibly to another who they believe will bring that wonder back, along with a growing pain of a broken marriage and the loss of that first love.

I write this not because this is where I am with my wife. Thankfully, we remember our pasts well enough to work on keeping this scenario from happening again in our lives. Still, we must always be aware of that slow, creeping weed of discontentment that can so easily pervade a marriage.

No, I write this because this analogy applies to our relationship with Christ.

The Apostle John writes these words of Jesus to the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2: "...You don't have as much love as you used to. Think about where you have fallen from, and then turn back and do as you did at first.

"You don't have as much love as you used to." Those would be tough words to hear, words that would probably cause us to jump on the defensive with whom ever said them to us but when it is Jesus, telling us that we don't love him as we once had, for me, I can't argue. I can only hang my head and agree. I don't want to but I can no longer live in De Nile, I have to love in Re Al-A Te.

I do love my Lord but I am reminded, almost daily, that I love him with not my whole heart. I do love my Lord but I long for the days when our relationship was filled with wonder, discovery, intimacy, and joy. I miss those days of walking in the garden and having him walk alongside me but I seem to be spending a lot of my time hiding behind the bushes!

My struggle, where I am, again, in my life, is working my way back to that first love. I'm wondering about the ways, no, I'm re-evaluating the means of grace that God has provided for me to rekindle that intimacy. I want to feel his embrace, to feel his breath on my ear, to be able to sense his touch in my soul. I want to feel the vibrations of his words in my heart and the pulling of his love within me.

Jesus said to the church at Ephesus about their lost love: "Turn back and do as you did at first." I must go back to the basics. I need to go back to the things that have stirred the souls of the saints in the past, the means of Grace that drew them closer in intimacy with God.

Thomas a Kempis wrote: "Old habits are hard to break, and no one is easily weaned from his own opinions; but if you rely on your own reasoning and ability rather than on the virtue of submission to Jesus Christ, you will but seldom and slowly attain wisdom. for God wills that we become perfectly obedient to himself, and that we transcend mere reason on the wings of burning love for him."

I need to, I must, it will become my passion, to return to my first love.

"I'm Returning" by Don Potter and friends

The Christian versus the Christ Follower

I'm not sure when I first heard about it or read about it but somewhere sometime ago I was made aware of a growing discussion about a group of believers in Christ who were no longer referring to themselves as Christian but as Christ Followers instead. The rational was that "Christian" had taken on such a negative, hypocritical, and political connotation and they did not want to be associated to that but instead wanted to be a people whose sole purpose was to follow Jesus, thus, Christ Followers.

Since that time I have read much about this difference of terms, especially from one of my favorite Christian writers, John Fischer (see links on side bar). His writings are often about the religiosity of Christianity and what it is to be a true follower of Christ. I have not ever put down his books without having to rethink and reconsider my own views of what it truly means to be a Christian - one who believes in and strives to follow Christ and become like him.

I came across a series of videos on YouTube that addressed this but in a funny way. They are a parody of the Mac vs. PC commercials. The series of six plus a different one can be found on the right sidebar. Take a look and enjoy, but beware, you may be challenged to rethink what it means for you to be a Christian.

In Honor of My Mother's 70th Birthday

My mother turned 70 last week. I hope she doesn't mind me declaring to the world her age but she does wear it well.

My mom's a pretty special lady. She'd have to be to have someone as special as me! And to put up with my two younger brothers!!! She's been through a lot in her life - life has, indeed, thrown her a few curves. But she came through them stronger, more committed to the Lord, and more understanding. Generally speaking.

I'm sure she has shaken her head over her adult children many a time because of the way we do things, the way we live our lives, the things she has found out about us when we were growing up that she didn't know at the time. And I know she spends an awful lot of time praying for us all. No doubt, we still need it.

She has taken my hand in hers on several occasions and told me just how much she loves me and prays for me; how she has spoken many words of encouragement to me and my family in our uncertain times. At times it has been her strength that has helped us to find ours.

She's going through some more changes, even now at this stage in her life. Selling her house, building a new one, having to sort through many of her belongings that she has gathered over the years and decide what she can take and what must be gotten rid of. She has watched first one, then another, of her sons move away while a third was already several hours away. She is having to say goodbye to a church family she has loved and cared for for many years and find another church home. These are hard things to go through but, even in the tears, she has trusted in the Lord, knowing his hand will make a way.

I came across this video clip the other day and it made me laugh. I thought of my mom - and, yes, there are some similarities. The comedian is Chonda Pierce. She is too funny. This is in honor of my Mother, who I love with all my heart, miss terribly, and am thankful she decided to pick me up from the side of the road and make me hers!

Flesh verses the Spirit in Spiritual Growth (2nd addition)

I have been reading, as part of my devotions, a book that is part of the "Rekindling the Inner Fire" series by David Hazard. It's entitled, "You Set My Spirit Free." He has written a number of books in this series. They are arranged and paraphrased devotional readings based on the works of many early Christian writers. This book is based on the writings of St. John of the Cross.

In the chapter titled "Stillness," St. John of the Cross makes this observation:
"Our first joy, excitement, and love for God generally springs from our fleshly nature (our thoughts and emotions, italics mine). We may feel, with senses tingling, the lift and the wonder of His presence. Because these feelings are aroused in the presence of God we can mistake them as the quickening of the Spirit (the complete movement and work of the Spirit, italics mine). In fact, they are sensual and come from the lower nature (our thoughts and emotions, italics mine). What is born of this nature is doomed to die. Only what is born of the Spirit can lead us into greater growth in the nature of Christ..."

"This kind of growth comes only as we learn to...be still and walk free from all the fleshly feelings, perceptions, will, and our faulty ways of imagining what God is like. For we must silence the lowly human senses of the flesh that lead us to false conclusions about God, and keep us blind to His constant work and movement all around us."

As I have looked back on my walk in the Lord, I certainly find that what St. John of the Cross wrote is true. How often have I taken my "feelings" of God's presence as His complete work in my life. Then, a few months, weeks, or even days later I begin to wonder where God is in my life because the feelings aren't there like they were. It's not that I loose faith in God but my faith does become shaky, it grows weak, and I give in to my emotions and thoughts which are not pure and under God's control.

St. John of the Cross picks up on this. He writes:
"Unfortunately, there are many believers who never learn how to move beyond this state - it is a kind of 'spiritual lust,' because it enslaves them to the senses that demand to be gratified. When their sense of delight with spiritual things dries up, they are full of grumbling, discontent, and even bitterness toward God for 'abandoning' them."

How often do we struggle and even fail in our walk with Christ because we have based our faith and trust in Him on our emotions, our feelings, on the good things that come our way? Almost every time, when I look how I have taken one step forward and then gone two steps back, I can see how I have been living by the flesh and not in the Spirit.

"Stay alert, be in prayer, so you don't enter the danger zone without even knowing it. Don't be naive. Part of you is eager, ready for anything in God; but another part is as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire."

Mark 14:38 (The Message)

The problem is, it's easier to live by the flesh, or at least, that is what we think. Our thinking goes something like this: it doesn't cost me deeply, I am trying to do "good things" that will please God, and, as long as I "believe," I'm saved, so at least I have this eternal security blanket; and, of course, there is God's grace, so I can always go back and ask forgiveness when things get too out of hand.

This thinking is what Dietrich Bonhoeffer referred to as "cheap grace" and I can't help but wonder how thin cheap grace really is, especially when it comes to our faith and God's ability to really work in our lives.

"Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace? Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it? Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death? For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives."

Romans 6:1-4 (New Living Translation)

The truth is, a faith under the work of the Holy Spirit costs us everything. It involves work and pain for us. And, to be honest, I don't like pain. But without pain, and work, and commitment, I remain weak and inconsistent. And, as powerful as God's grace is, I wonder just how much I limit God's ability to truly transform me into the person He has created me to be when I'm not totally committed to Him?

John of the Cross writes:
"At first...the flame of purging will feel painful to the soul. And your fleshly nature will wring and struggle and complain and demand that God 'prove' His presence with consoling sweetness. Would you forever give in to a child's whining and demands for sweet treats? Do not give in to your soul's demands of 'sweet blessings' from God either. For that will only make it weak and sick."

As we decide to walk under the influence and control of the Holy Spirit, and I admit that it is easier to say than to do because we can be rather stubborn in giving up our rights and control to anyone, including God, but when we do submit to Him, we will experience more of His presence and control in our lives, a freedom and peace, a quenching of our spiritual and emotional thirsts. Jesus said that he came to give us Life and Life more abundantly. The things that aid us in this experience and growth are prayer, Bible study, worship, participating in the receiving of the Lord's Supper, remembering our baptism, fellowship with other Christians, fasting - John Wesley referred to these as means or channels in which God's grace can work through - and there are others; these things help strengthen us, even in the midst of the bleak times, to stay focused on Christ and not ourselves.

"Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!"

Hebrews 12:1-3 (The Message)