Love Of My Life

Well, I'm in the second week of schooling here at Duke Divinity School and I must admit it's not gotten any easier. Don't worry, I'll spare you all the "there's too much reading, there's too many papers to be written, I can't remember it all" statements. I'll simply say, "ditto."

I've discovered another problem, though, one that has been ever growing over the last several years and I find it harder to work through, and that's missing my wife. Call me a sap, call me a wuss, call me wimp, the fact is, I really miss my wife!

Now, before you roll your eyes and mumble under your breath, let me just say that I am very capable of going away for periods of time from my wife and, though missing her, can get along pretty well without her. That's not what's at issue here. What's at issue is that, in most things, I would rather not "get along" without her because, when I am without her, there is a piece of me missing. I feel incomplete.

As of tomorrow, Wednesday, July 14th, Heather and I will have been married 9 years. I messed up last year's anniversary pretty royally and for this year, here I sit at Duke and she in Lancaster. But I'm not messing this one up, no sirie.

Nine years. It's hard to believe. Not that it's hard to believe that we have been married for 9 years but to realize what we have been through over those last 9 years, with major job changes, health issues, near death experiences (just one that I know of), major moves, living in a new country (seemed like it at first), being away from our family, it's been a journey of curves, pot holes, mountains, valley's, and even floods. But I can't even imagine going through it all without having Heather by my side. In fact, I've made it along this road in large part because of her (the other "part" is due to God, who, by the way, brought Heather into my life, so one could say it was all his doing and leading and helping and that would be true but then, you're missing my point, aren't you?). 

It wasn't my intention to fall in love with her. I just wanted to date her, have a "fine" lady friend I could hang out with when I was down from Nashville visiting family in Birmingham.

Didn't quite work out that way, as you can tell. And I'm very thankful for that.

I am here at Duke to "strengthen my mind and spirit," as they say, but the truth is, my greatest source of strength has come from my wife. I continue to learn, to be taught, through her words and by her love. When all confidence is gone within me, she steps in and covers me with hers.

Ours isn't a perfect love nor do I claim that we have a perfect marriage. I'm not perfect. But we work hard at it. We came together out of and from brokenness and we know how delicate marriage is and that it is, in fact, an unending journey towards a mysterious union of heart, body and mind. Such fragile things must not be taken for granted. So we try to walk carefully, not running but walking. As the song goes (sort of), we are one person (joined), we are two alone (individuals), we are three together (God, her and I), we are for each other.  (Crosby, Still & Nash - Helplessly Hoping)

So, as we begin our 10th year together, I am excited about what lies ahead; and anxious; and uncertain; but I know that I don't walk alone and I know that we walk together with God, always trying to keep our eyes on the Author and Perfecter of our faith.

Heather, thank you for marrying me.
Thank you for staying with me.
Thank you for being my Anam Cara.
Thank you for sharing in this Great Big Love we have been given from God.

Wish you were here, hon. I sure do miss you.
Happy anniversary!