I've been lying in bed for the last hour listening to Will Ackerman on my computer trying to decide if I want to get up or not. It's probably time but I look outside and it's gray and breezy and I'm sure it's chilly. Still, I wonder if I should get up, get dressed and take my dog for a walk in the woods down the road.
I have a strange feeling of disconnect today. Actually, I've had it for several days now. I've had this deep internal yearning to be someplace else, far away, deep in the woods or on top of a mountain, someplace secluded and private. I find myself watching the Travel Channel, shows about Alaska, Ireland, Scotland, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and my heart stirs and my mind says, "I want to be there." Though part of my feeling is because I am enraptured with those places and want to visit them, my mood now has to do with the idea that, if I'm not here, but there, then I don't have to deal with the stuff that's here.
But I know that, as much as I would like to be there - someplace else, it wouldn't be long before I started to feel this way again and long to be back over here. The reason? Because where ever I may go, there I am and I am the reason that I feel this disconnect. It has more to do with me and my emotional reaction to the season (Christmas and Winter) of busyness and gray, my soon to be 50th birthday, and some other things, that cause me to have this stirring of being "there" than "here".
My other choice is just to stay in bed for the rest of the day - which won't work because I have a lovely wife and daughter at home that won't let me stay in bed. They will get me up and get me to do something because that is what I need to do. Climbing mountains or walking in the woods can't take place while in your bed.
I think I'll get up.
I have a strange feeling of disconnect today. Actually, I've had it for several days now. I've had this deep internal yearning to be someplace else, far away, deep in the woods or on top of a mountain, someplace secluded and private. I find myself watching the Travel Channel, shows about Alaska, Ireland, Scotland, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, and my heart stirs and my mind says, "I want to be there." Though part of my feeling is because I am enraptured with those places and want to visit them, my mood now has to do with the idea that, if I'm not here, but there, then I don't have to deal with the stuff that's here.
But I know that, as much as I would like to be there - someplace else, it wouldn't be long before I started to feel this way again and long to be back over here. The reason? Because where ever I may go, there I am and I am the reason that I feel this disconnect. It has more to do with me and my emotional reaction to the season (Christmas and Winter) of busyness and gray, my soon to be 50th birthday, and some other things, that cause me to have this stirring of being "there" than "here".
My other choice is just to stay in bed for the rest of the day - which won't work because I have a lovely wife and daughter at home that won't let me stay in bed. They will get me up and get me to do something because that is what I need to do. Climbing mountains or walking in the woods can't take place while in your bed.
I think I'll get up.
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