My Rules for Christmas

My wife and I have this running "discussion" every year around the end of October, beginning of November, about when we can officially prepare for and celebrate the Christmas season. She wants to take out the decorations a week or two before Thanksgiving and start playing Christmas music. I, on the other hand, believe you should wait until after Thanksgiving. I am really resistant to doing the "Christmasy" thing too early. For some reason it really bothers me that we tend to go from Halloween to Christmas without paying much respect to the Thanksgiving season.

This whole issue has frustrated me to such a point that some years back I put together my list of rules for Christmas. Mind you, these are my rules that no one seems to want to follow - at least some of them, as you will see - but I always pull them out and remind my wife of my rules as I start pulling down Christmas decoration boxes from the attic. This year I was reminding her of my rules the weekend before Thanksgiving, as I was putting up the four Christmas trees in our house! As I said, they're my rules that aren't necessarily embraced by many. But they should be!

Rule #1 - No Christmas ornaments on display or sold in stores until the week of Thanksgiving.

Is it me or did you notice how early the stores got the move on Christmas this year? It's disconcerting to walk through a store and see costumes of witches and monster and Halloween decorations in one aisle and angels, Santa Claus and Christmas decorations in the next. It really messes up my anticipation for Christmas.

Rule #2 - No Christmas decorations up in and around homes until after Thanksgiving.

What ever happened to Thanksgiving? I don't see any turkeys or pilgrims or Native Americans smiling out in the yard, no little ships hanging from the trees, no giant turkey drumstick on the top of roofs. It was nice to come home after Thanksgiving and find that the neighbors down the street finally took down their Halloween blowups off the lawn. I don't know but maybe witches, goblins and skeletons hold more significance than a time for giving thanks and the Christ Child. At least most jobs and schools are giving you the day before Thanksgiving off. That seems right, considering that, next to Christmas it is the most traveled few days in visiting family and friends.

Rule #3 - Sometime during the Christmas season there needs to be several days when the weather is colder than 40 degrees. Somewhere during the month of December, it would be wonderful it happened a few days before Christmas, that a light dusting of snow were to take place.

There is something just not normal when you get to this time of the year and the average temperature is hovering around the 60's or higher. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for drifts of snow or temps in the teens or twenties. I moved south from the north impart to get away from that kind of stuff. I just want a couple of days when you can go out, throw a snowball, make a snowman and snow angle, and watch the snow light up as it gently falls over the outside Christmas lights. Just a gentle reminder that we are, in fact, in the season of winter.

Rule #4 - Movies like "Christmas Carol", "It's a Wonderful Life", and "A White Christmas" should be required viewing during the Christmas season. Add to those movies such TV specials like "A Charlie Brown Christmas", "The Grinch that Stole Christmas", and "I Wish for Wings that Fly". When these are on, the family should be gathered, popcorn popped and the fire going, all together watching as a family.

I admit that I become a big sap for Hallmark movies made for Christmas. I snuggle in with my wife and we are reminded how easy it is to take things for granted, how important family and friends are, and that "'tis the season" is only for the child at heart, not grumpy, greedy people.

Rule #5 - Everyone should stand by the mall Christmas Tree or the moving Christmas decorations and watch the little children's reactions. They are always the same, they all have a gleam in their eyes, a smile on their faces, and a look of wonder at what ever they see. And, if you get lucky, no, if you are blessed, you'll catch that same wonder in the face of an adult or two, maybe it might even be you!

Rule #6 - Everyone should sing at least one Christmas song each day through Christmas Day. Solos are allowed and are to be applauded. Four part harmonies are nice but not required. At least one verse. Grab a partner and do a duet. Be spontaneous. Be bold. Be vocal.

Rule #7 - Along with the gifts that we give to our family and friends, we should also give them the gift of blessing. Words have far greater value and impact than material things. A blessing is more than a wish, a blessing involves hope, it involves encouragement, it involves knowing a little bit about that person's soul, it involves you being involved with that person in a deeper way than with just giving a material gift. It involves being open to let that person become a part of your life. Interestingly, as you bless you will be blessed. Strange how that works but it's true.

Rule #8 - It's OK, in fact, it's encouraged that, in the mix of buying Christmas cards, that we should sit down and create a few of our own cards. Limit your use of the computer generated kind. Let the paint and crayons and markers fly! Use stick figures, experiment with your colors, be expressive, be funny, be serious, but above all, be real! And be sure you mail it.

Rule #9 - Last but most importantly, forget not what this season is all about. It's not just about a child being born in a manger, angels singing, shepherds and magi kneeling. It's about a Holy God having compassion on a sinful and fallen people and becoming one of us so that, instead of condemnation and emptiness, we could experience grace and peace and communion and joy and hope and love and purpose and...well, you get the point.

"The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the neighborhood. We saw the glory with our own eyes, the one-of-a-kind glory, like Father, like Son, generous inside and out, true from start to finish."

(John 1:14, the Message Bible)

Christmas is about a Savior on the cross in our place, bearing our failures and, finally, standing before God as our Champion. our Intercessor, our Strength. He is, indeed, our "indescribable gift!"

"For a child has been born - for us! The gift of a son - for us! He'll take over the running of the world. His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness. His ruling authority will grow, and there'll be no limits to the wholeness He brings."

(Isaiah 9:6-7, the Message Bible)

To all of you who read this blog, family, friends, strangers, may these next several weeks be a time of great joy. May you grow deeper in your faith, wider in your compassion and love for others, climb higher in your pilgrimage of life, and become firmer in your hope and peace. And, above all, may you be touched by the Grace of God this season and always!

A Gathering of the Elders, part 1

On October 15-17 my Dad, my youngest brother, Bruce, my son Jonathan and I gathered in the mountains of west North Carolina for "guy time." My middle brother was unable to attend because of work but also because he was trying to give birth to stones. Unfortunately, it was more than a passing fancy for him! His son, Chris, was in school, as was Bruce's two sons, Adam and Jake. So it was just the four of us.

The purpose of our "guy time" was to hang out, do some hiking and kayaking. Being that we no longer all live within an hours drive of each other (I being close to 7 hours away), we wanted to just strengthen the bonds that remain. So we rented a cabin near the Nantahala river, between Waynesville and Murphy, NC, which is about 4 hours from Huntsville and Charlotte.

The place we stayed was, at best, in poor condition. We should have moved out the moment we walked in but, having emptied everything from our cars and having our eyes finally adjust to the darkness within the house (poor lighting), it was too late. The area where the cabin was located was beautiful and our first day was filled with sunlight and fall warmth. But the cabin was disappointing.


We had arrived a little before lunch time so we went to check out the whitewater place that we were renting from (Paddle Inn - highly recommend - very reasonable prices and great service).
We were originally going to do a raft together but ended up deciding we were going to do individual duckies (inflatable kayaks - I had my own boat and was eager to show off my skill). My biggest worry was my Dad, who, though has done a lot of canoing up until several years ago, had never done "kayaking." The lady who walked us through everything, Mama Wilson (I believe that is her last name) was one of a kind, a jewel of a lady and a devout Christian. My dad, jokingly, I think, mentioned having pains in his chest, to which she instantly placed her hands on his chest, rebuked the pains and asked for God's healing and protection. There was power in her words, folks.

We headed from there to do some hiking, albeit nothing long or strenuous. We did hike the Appalachian Trail (well, we walked 5 feet on a bridge and then back). We saw one of the waterfalls that is right after the whitewater run we would be taking on Tuesday. "This is one run you don't want to take. It's a class five with lots of sharp rocks," they said. When we saw it from a distance, it didn't look so bad.

However, when we saw it up close, we decided to heed their warning!









We then ckecked out the last rapid on the route, a class 3. We stood around and watched kayak's, rafts and duckies go through for about 30 minutes. It looked ... interesting, fun, exhilarating and wet. What we didn't realize then but would find out quickly the next day was just how cold 47 degree water really is! (That's not us on the right.)


When we could watch no longer, we headed home but took a detour and headed up one of the mountains by car. The leaves were beautiful, even if they still had a couple of more weeks to turn colors. We stopped and enjoyed several falls along the way and just talked. I think already we knew we were going to have a good time just hanging together, telling stories, insulting one another and just sharing.

We finally headed back down the mountain and headed back to our cabin. Supper time was upon us and we were hungry. We ate like kings and then sat around the table and played Rook for several hours. As the late hours closed in on us, and victory had been snatched from the jaws of defeat in a heated game (Dad and I against Bruce and Jonathan), we opened the Sacred Scroll and closed the night with offering thanks to the Sure Right Hand. For the One who blessed us that first day together was about to give us one wild day the next!

Death

This has been a tough last several days. I still have another one to go. I have had two deaths in my church in the last few days. One was an older woman who had been a member of my church for over 50 years. Her health had deteriorated over the last several months and she was unhappy with her life as a result. She had been a Christian for all of her adult life, as far as I know. Her funeral was last Thursday.

The other was a man of 40 who, in essence, had drunk so much that it had finally taken its toll and over the last month or so his health took a turn for the worse. However, I can say with all confidence that this man had, in the last couple of weeks, just before the bottom dropped out on his health, had come to accept Christ into his life, knowing that he could no longer control his life and that he needed Christ to find emotional and soul healing. His funeral if tomorrow.

Of all the duties that I have as a pastor, helping families deal with death is the hardest and the most uncomfortable for me. I feel as if I am walking on pins and needles. I worry about what to say, or not to say. I worry about how involved I should be with the family, what kind of service is appropriate, if I might mess up during the service, of doing anything that would add additional discomfort to an already unbearable situation to family and friends. One hour spent in ministering in this situation is the most exhausting to me. And yet I realize it is nothing compared to what the family is going through.

I know all the things that I should do when serving in this very important role. Above all I know that it's not about me. It's about connecting Christ with those who are grieving and hurting. I know that Christ has an amazing way of revealing himself in the midst of our grief and sadness. I serve simply as a vessel, a servant of his to his people who are hurting.

Still, I feel so much out of my element. But those families are so gracious, so appreciative, even so caring. There has been such a Christ-likeness in them towards me, even in the midst of their own struggles. I have left those families more blessed that I did going in. I feel so much out of my element, but I feel so much in Christ's.

What are they looking for?

Today I attended a meeting of pastors in my district. The topic of discussion for the meeting was concerning what young adults are looking for and how the church can reach out to them. At least, that was the general theme.

Some interesting discussions took place. I'm not so sure what the pastors took home with them as far as insight goes but I think that there was plenty of insight there to take home.

For some of the churches represented at the meeting, it would be safe to say that there aren't many young adults that are attending nor are there many living in the area of the church to draw from. This certainly creates a sense of frustration for a pastor as he sees his congregation consisting mostly of older adults who are ready to "step down" from the positions but there's nobody there to "step up" and take over. Plus, it can be a discouraging thing to a church when you feel that there are no young people to draw into the church. They are there, maybe not in great numbers like in the suburbs but there around.

One of the things that came up in our discussions led me to wonder, what are we doing in our churches to attract young adults? What are we doing to keep our youth?

One pastor brought out the point that quality is very important in attracting people in general, especially middle and young adults. If a church doesn't strive to have quality, in their building appearance, in their Sunday school programs, in their children's ministries, and especially in their worship, then those people aren't going to come back.

In response to that, another pastor expressed their concern about the consumer mentality that young adults have (and middle adults). He expressed his frustration about their lack of commitment, their pick and choosing approach to the church. I'm not sure that mentality is limited to only the young adult, however. They're just more honest about it.

I'm soon to be 50. By most standards I would be considered part of the upper middle age group. I don't think of myself in those terms. I don't want to. And I don't want to be "set apart" from those that are younger than me, especially young adults. I try to stay relevant to the culture, to what's in and what's not (though according to my 13 year old, I'm not doing a very good job of it). I believe that helps me to be able to still, even at this ripe old age, to be able to connect with people younger than me.

It seems to me that the church must, MUST, strive to stay relevant in our times, which, by the way, is the 21st century, not the mid to late 20th. That means that we must be relevant in our worship, in our way of teaching the Bible, in our liturgy and preaching. As one of our speakers mentioned today, it even includes using current illustrations that people born after 1970 are going to connect with.

We can't keep doing the same things over again hoping that the results will be different. They won't. That's called being irrelevant.

Intimacy of Biblical Proportions

Most of us can think back to those very early days when we were first falling in love with the person of our dreams. There comes a smile to our hearts and faces as we remember how we went out of our way to get close to that person, to get their attention, to strike up a conversation. From there, when we felt that our personalities clicked, we worked very hard to spend time with each other. We would give up our time, give up doing some of the activities that we enjoyed, limited our hanging with our buds, all just so we would have more time to focus on that person that made our heart skip a beat.

Everything was incredibly wonderful as we would grow closer, more intimate with our feelings, exposing our emotional side in ways we would never think we could do with another. But there we were, even shedding a tear in the intimate embrace of this one that had now captured our heart.

Then that day of great risk and faith comes and we ask that person to become our spouse, to spend the rest of our lives together, sharing in the bliss that we had been sharing since that first day when we met. The "I do's" and the "I will's" are exchanged before God, family and friends, along with pledges of total love, eternal bliss, you only, complete commitment.

Those first months, even into the first year or two, that bliss remains. Each day is new, full of discovery and pleasure, overshadowing those momentary bumps in the marital road. But then, as houses are bought, furnished, cars repaired or replaced, jobs become even more important because they help meet the ever growing financial responsibilities that have and are accumulating. Children come along, demanding attention, requiring more money, infringing on what was once our personal time and space.

Then you notice that those cute little things your spouse does aren't as cute now. The dirty socks on the floor have become a source of complaints, toothpaste squeezed in the wrong way brings a rolling of the eyes, whiskers in the sink brings a curt reprimand. And before you know it, bliss, pleasure, intimacy, and joy, aren't the words you would probably use to describe your marriage.

Oh, you love each other. But that newness, that enraptured sense of discovery and excitement and intimacy has become a silent longing in your heart but not near the reality it once was.

What happens to a marriage or a relationship that takes this turn and continues down this path? Well, at best, they become a couple that love each other but have grown complacent with each other. At worst, they drift apart and begin to be drawn to other things to fill that void, possibly to another who they believe will bring that wonder back, along with a growing pain of a broken marriage and the loss of that first love.

I write this not because this is where I am with my wife. Thankfully, we remember our pasts well enough to work on keeping this scenario from happening again in our lives. Still, we must always be aware of that slow, creeping weed of discontentment that can so easily pervade a marriage.

No, I write this because this analogy applies to our relationship with Christ.

The Apostle John writes these words of Jesus to the church at Ephesus in Revelation 2: "...You don't have as much love as you used to. Think about where you have fallen from, and then turn back and do as you did at first.

"You don't have as much love as you used to." Those would be tough words to hear, words that would probably cause us to jump on the defensive with whom ever said them to us but when it is Jesus, telling us that we don't love him as we once had, for me, I can't argue. I can only hang my head and agree. I don't want to but I can no longer live in De Nile, I have to love in Re Al-A Te.

I do love my Lord but I am reminded, almost daily, that I love him with not my whole heart. I do love my Lord but I long for the days when our relationship was filled with wonder, discovery, intimacy, and joy. I miss those days of walking in the garden and having him walk alongside me but I seem to be spending a lot of my time hiding behind the bushes!

My struggle, where I am, again, in my life, is working my way back to that first love. I'm wondering about the ways, no, I'm re-evaluating the means of grace that God has provided for me to rekindle that intimacy. I want to feel his embrace, to feel his breath on my ear, to be able to sense his touch in my soul. I want to feel the vibrations of his words in my heart and the pulling of his love within me.

Jesus said to the church at Ephesus about their lost love: "Turn back and do as you did at first." I must go back to the basics. I need to go back to the things that have stirred the souls of the saints in the past, the means of Grace that drew them closer in intimacy with God.

Thomas a Kempis wrote: "Old habits are hard to break, and no one is easily weaned from his own opinions; but if you rely on your own reasoning and ability rather than on the virtue of submission to Jesus Christ, you will but seldom and slowly attain wisdom. for God wills that we become perfectly obedient to himself, and that we transcend mere reason on the wings of burning love for him."

I need to, I must, it will become my passion, to return to my first love.

"I'm Returning" by Don Potter and friends