Walking in Another Person's Flip Flops

OK, I'll be the first to admit that doing a blog post that consists of quotes from a book (again) is probably the lazy persons way of doing things, and there might be some small truth to this, but it really is more than that. As I mentioned in my last post, I've been reading John Fischer's book, "12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee" and it has some really good things to say about us people who claim Christ as our Lord and Savior but have a way of falling way short of being the kind of witness that truly attracts others to Christ. So, as I read through the chapters, I'll be sharing some quotes from each chapter/step of recovery. If you don't get the book for yourself, hopefully some of the quotes I post will at least get you thinking.

Step 2: We have come to believe that our means of obtaining greatness is to everyone lower than ourselves in our mind.

"We need to learn to see ourselves through other people's eyes to see ourselves as we really are."

"It's virtually impossible to get another view of yourself by yourself. Just like we need at least two mirrors to see the angles most other people see of us, we need other people to tell us who we really are."

"Recovering Pharisees need to have people around them to tell them the truth - to hold up the mirrors."

"It would be wise to look at the groups we travel in and see how honest they really are. Do we have our own prejudices and secrets? Ate we honest with one another, or do we protect one another's weaknesses and sins? Do our groups foster an accurate portrayal of ourselves as we really are, or do they bolster a kind of corporate lie or propaganda?"

"We need friends who tell us the truth - other shoes in which we can stand."

"Standing in someone else's shoes changes our view of ourselves, but it also drastically changes our view of others when we see their situation from their point of view. If we truly see from someone else's perspective, we might at least be able to understand why they do what they do instead of issuing a knee-jerk judgment of what we do not understand."

"Empathy is a marvelous antidote for the tendency to judge others, and personal pain is the pathway to empathy. It's worth the pain to become more human - to identify with people - to join the human race." 

"To empathize with someone you don't even like is a sign that you have accepted and faced your own problems and therefore can understand how other people can be trapped by their own difficulties in life, even if they are difficulties outside your experience." 

"As a Pharisee, there is no doubt that the need to judge other people is at the level of an addiction. It is intimately tied to our sense of identity and is the means by which we feel good about ourselves. We judge without thinking, and it's a habit we can't get along without."

How well do we do when it comes to putting ourselves into another person's shoes? How quick are we to write somebody off or to pass judgment without giving any consideration to what their circumstances might be, how they might interpret a situation different than our interpretation, or how they might have misunderstood our intentions/words/attitudes? How open are we to the possibility that our situation or our interpretation or our intentions, words, or attitudes could be, if not wrong, certainly impact our perspective and opinion?

May God give us the sensitivity, the caution, the compassion, and his grace, to place ourselves in the flip flops of the person we are judging, and give them the benefit of the doubt.

Me, a Pharisee?

Many, many years ago, back in the early 80's, during the first stage of my life as a minister, I did a sermon series entitled, "Me, a Pharisee?" It was a rather pointed message, more pointed that it should have been, at times, and made a few folks upset with me. It wasn't that I wasn't preaching the truth, I was, but you can sometimes preach the truth/Gospel in a way that cracks open peoples heads instead of challenging and healing peoples hearts.

I pray that I'm much different now in how I preach the Gospel and God's Word in my third stage of my life as a minister.

Somewhere around 2001 I was going through a clearance book bin at a Christian book store and came across a book by John Fischer, "12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee (Like Me): Finding Grace to Live Unmasked." Well, it reminded me of that sermon series from way back when so I bought the book. Besides, it was on clearance and you should never pass up a bargain on a book. It ended up on a shelf, quickly forgotten. As they say, "out of sight, out of mind."

Then last week or so I was working on a sermon and went to the bookshelf to get another book for an illustration I had remembered but accidently pulled off this John Fischer book, which I had forgotten about. I felt compelled to start reading the book. You know what? This is an interesting book and well worth reading. And very uncomfortable and convicting. Now I know why it remained on the shelf!

I would like to share with you some quotes from the first chapter of the book. Read them carefully, thoughtfully, prayerfully, asking God to speak to you about you. 

Step 1 - We admit that our single most unmitigated pleasure is to judge other people.

"Few activities in life rival the thrill of passing judgment on another human being."

"Our eyes look out, they do not look in, and if they are looking for what is wrong, they will always find much upon which to focus.."

"I think to myself, rationalize by myself, decide for myself. I am the author and finisher of my own perspective."

"So long as we remain our own authority, we do not have to be challenged. We can carry on with our own conclusions about ourselves and others, even if they contradict reality, because we are in charge of all the conclusions, and we can bolster our story however we want."

"If I judge even one person, I announce that judgment is the basis upon which I want everyone evaluated - myself included (Matthew 7:1). This is the law of impartiality. You want to judge? Fine, get ready to face the Judge.

"In the same way, if I want mercy for me, then I have to allow it for everyone else, even those who, in my estimation, are 'worse' sinners than I. This is the big picture that we all need to see: Justice for all; condemnation for all. A cross and an empty tomb for all; mercy for all." 

"When God calls for perfection, it is assumed that I cannot perform it. It's the demand for perfection that keeps me relying on God's mercy and grace. But the call to faithfulness is a call I can answer. Faithful to follow, faithful to confess, faithful to obey, faithful to repent, faithful to believe, faithful to pray and seek God - all these are the requirements of faithfulness. All of them are doable and are, in fact, my responsibility and my joy, having been the unexpected recipient of so great a mercy."

"Remember the words of Jesus: Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. for with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. (Lk. 6:36-38)"

"What an incredible proposition. Want love? Give love. Want mercy? Give mercy. Want acceptance? Give acceptance. Want to judge? Get ready to be judged. Want to escape judgment? Don't judge at all. Don't do it. Get with those who want to get over this problem and remind each other of God's grace."

Might a recommend you get this book and read it for 2012. Get some of your Christian friends together, or your Sunday school class, and read and discuss this book together. I think it is time that we remove the mantle of living and behaving like a Pharisee and start truly living and acting like a follower of Christ. We've done enough damage to our witness as Christians and his Church. We need to remove the masks that keep us hidden, that make us critical and judgmental, and instead have our words and lives be a true reflection of Christ's light and glory.