We had a really good service last Sunday. The attendance was very strong, had several visitors come back and stay for the fellowship meal, and the worship was full of feeling and a sense of expectation. Singing was strong and the sharing was heartfelt. It was one of those services where you just know that you need to get out of the way lest you run the risk of stifling the Holy Spirit. The last several services have felt that way, and I haven't been the only one feeing it.
But something else has been happening and it has had to do with me and my preaching. I have been experiencing, for about the last month or so, a real sense of freedom while I preach. The sermon preparation hasn't necessarily been easy, sometimes it has but not always, the "anxiety" about what I'm to preach about still is there, even up to the moment that I stand to preach at times, but once I start, it almost feels like I internally/spiritually step back and the Holy Spirit steps in. It's a very strange and amazing feeling.
Here's the problem, or maybe I should say, here's my worry. I normally preach about 25 minutes. I usually have a manuscript that I preach from but I don't "read" it. But lately, as this process has been unfolding over the last several Sunday's, I've had to force myself to stop preaching, even not finishing the message a time or two, because 35 to 40 minutes have passed. It doesn't feel that long to me, and I don't sense it from the people when I'm preaching, who all seem engaged, taking notes, and responding in someway to what I am saying. I've even had a few "scold" me for ending before I felt that I was finished. I've had others who, jokingly, make a comment about my long sermons but then say, "I don't realize how long you've been preaching until you stop and then I check my watch. It doesn't seem that long at all." I sure hope most feel that way!
I think it was my Granddad who used to say that if you haven't hit oil in the first 15 minutes, stop drilling. And certainly I have had those times, when I have preached some messages, when I felt that I was really not connecting with the people, when I felt that I and/or the message was way out of sink, and I wrapped it up quickly. There have been a time or two when I even admitted as much to the congregation - how I felt. But when you feel that you are "hitting oil" and that people are engaged and that you are being led in a certain direction or led to go deeper than you planned, should I say to the Lord, "Lord, these people really do want to beat the Baptist to the restaurant so I can't go past 11:30"? I wonder what all my Course of Study teachers would say to a sermon going 30 to 40 minutes long, especially when they expect us to do a sermon in 10 minutes in class.
Since I have come back to the pastoral ministry (Jan. 2004), I have become a very different pastor/preacher than I was the first time around (1980-1990). My approach to ministry is very different, my understanding of church is very different (and not always shared by some church folk), and my preaching has evolved in a way I never imagined. And there have been times when, for lack of a better description, I have felt this "groove" unfold where I have this awareness that God's Spirit is untying the tethers that have often kept me earthbound when it has come to preaching and worship. I suppose as long as most of the congregation is soaring with me, I'm OK.
Please understand, I am in no way boasting or saying that I am some great preacher. I don't see myself in that way at all. In fact, I am very uncomfortable in this role - who am I to stand before God's people and break open His Word to them? And yet, here I am, and in those moments I am greatly humbled and honored to be entrusted with such treasures as God's Truths. I listen to "my preachers," the ones who break open God's Word to me, and I am amazed with their style, their knowledge, their sense of freedom, their ability to bring understanding to so many areas of my life, and I want to be like them. Well, not "like" them but I think you know what I mean. But God doesn't work that way and instead He chooses to use me, with my weaknesses and failures and struggles and doubts and whatever else I bring to the table. To this day I don't know why He called me into the ministry but I will tell you this - every week I find myself enjoying what I do, every week I find my hope growing a little broader, every week I am amazed at what God is doing where I am currently pastoring, and every week I can't wait until the next week to see what and how He is going to use this church, and me, in bringing glory to Himself and reaching out to others.
But I realize that preaching for 45 minutes will probably push the limits too far, even for me. And when I come to church some Sunday and notice a large clock in the back of the sanctuary, I'll know that maybe I've been soaring a little too high for a little too long!
But something else has been happening and it has had to do with me and my preaching. I have been experiencing, for about the last month or so, a real sense of freedom while I preach. The sermon preparation hasn't necessarily been easy, sometimes it has but not always, the "anxiety" about what I'm to preach about still is there, even up to the moment that I stand to preach at times, but once I start, it almost feels like I internally/spiritually step back and the Holy Spirit steps in. It's a very strange and amazing feeling.
Here's the problem, or maybe I should say, here's my worry. I normally preach about 25 minutes. I usually have a manuscript that I preach from but I don't "read" it. But lately, as this process has been unfolding over the last several Sunday's, I've had to force myself to stop preaching, even not finishing the message a time or two, because 35 to 40 minutes have passed. It doesn't feel that long to me, and I don't sense it from the people when I'm preaching, who all seem engaged, taking notes, and responding in someway to what I am saying. I've even had a few "scold" me for ending before I felt that I was finished. I've had others who, jokingly, make a comment about my long sermons but then say, "I don't realize how long you've been preaching until you stop and then I check my watch. It doesn't seem that long at all." I sure hope most feel that way!
I think it was my Granddad who used to say that if you haven't hit oil in the first 15 minutes, stop drilling. And certainly I have had those times, when I have preached some messages, when I felt that I was really not connecting with the people, when I felt that I and/or the message was way out of sink, and I wrapped it up quickly. There have been a time or two when I even admitted as much to the congregation - how I felt. But when you feel that you are "hitting oil" and that people are engaged and that you are being led in a certain direction or led to go deeper than you planned, should I say to the Lord, "Lord, these people really do want to beat the Baptist to the restaurant so I can't go past 11:30"? I wonder what all my Course of Study teachers would say to a sermon going 30 to 40 minutes long, especially when they expect us to do a sermon in 10 minutes in class.
Since I have come back to the pastoral ministry (Jan. 2004), I have become a very different pastor/preacher than I was the first time around (1980-1990). My approach to ministry is very different, my understanding of church is very different (and not always shared by some church folk), and my preaching has evolved in a way I never imagined. And there have been times when, for lack of a better description, I have felt this "groove" unfold where I have this awareness that God's Spirit is untying the tethers that have often kept me earthbound when it has come to preaching and worship. I suppose as long as most of the congregation is soaring with me, I'm OK.
Please understand, I am in no way boasting or saying that I am some great preacher. I don't see myself in that way at all. In fact, I am very uncomfortable in this role - who am I to stand before God's people and break open His Word to them? And yet, here I am, and in those moments I am greatly humbled and honored to be entrusted with such treasures as God's Truths. I listen to "my preachers," the ones who break open God's Word to me, and I am amazed with their style, their knowledge, their sense of freedom, their ability to bring understanding to so many areas of my life, and I want to be like them. Well, not "like" them but I think you know what I mean. But God doesn't work that way and instead He chooses to use me, with my weaknesses and failures and struggles and doubts and whatever else I bring to the table. To this day I don't know why He called me into the ministry but I will tell you this - every week I find myself enjoying what I do, every week I find my hope growing a little broader, every week I am amazed at what God is doing where I am currently pastoring, and every week I can't wait until the next week to see what and how He is going to use this church, and me, in bringing glory to Himself and reaching out to others.
But I realize that preaching for 45 minutes will probably push the limits too far, even for me. And when I come to church some Sunday and notice a large clock in the back of the sanctuary, I'll know that maybe I've been soaring a little too high for a little too long!
